Inspirational Words of Wisdom

FUN. FUN. THINK ABOUT FUN.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!

- Rebecca Black

I quit.

Spoiler Alert

I'm afraid I have some terrible news.
Sit down.


Lauren lost American Idol.
Not only did she lose, she lost to Scotty McSatan.

Are you fucking kidding me?
Lauren was about 8 trillion and 4 times better than Scotty.
The only reason that Scotty won, is that every girl 15 and under voted 200 times.
Granted, I voted that many times for Lauren, but she deserved to win. She is pure talent. I think that the last girl winner was Carrie Underwood. She was the last succesful one anyway. Scotty McSatan sucks.

He sounds like EVERY. OTHER. MALE. COUNTRY. SINGER.
I'm fucking enraged.
Scotty "Sanjaya'd" his way to the top.
This pisses me off to a whole new level.

Whatever.
Lauren is going to be a lot more successful than Scotty.

What really irks me is that my sister had to rub it in my face.
The first words out of her mouth?

"Oh God, now Mark's going to cry."
DAMN STRAIGHT.

I'm so angry.
If Scotty and Lauren become successful, and they're both up for album of the year at the Grammy's, Lauren WILL win.

Do you want to know why?
Because she's fucking epic.

"It's the Mississippi fault line!"

Oh my dear lard Jesus.
Al Pachino is at his usual shenanigans again.

I'm sure you've heard that the world is supposed to end tomorrow.
Literally only God knows whether it's gonna happen or not, but Al Pachino is absolutely positive that it WILL, in fact, end.
His theory?
"The world is gonna end because the government is planning to break the Mississippi fault line tomorrow at 6:00 P.M. It's gonna be 9.5 earthquake in Mississippi and a 4.4 here in Azle! You gotta believe me! Go to Fema.gov!"

I went there just now.
It said nothing about a fault line, or about bogus government conspiracy's, or Jesus coming to take us to Heaven on his flying Unicorn.
I hope that there isn't an earthquake, only so my friends and I can point and laugh at him.

What is he going to say when he comes to school tomorrow, and nothing has happened?
"Yeah, so I was wrong. Laugh at me and I'll suck your blood dry."
To which I would respond,
"I bet you'd like that. Ooh, look at my veins, all supple, delicious, and exposed. Are you getting thirsty? I have a big ole supply of warm 98.7 degrees Fahrenheit blood in here."

This guy proves time, and time again, that he is not only insane, but also a total lunatic.
Seriously, somebody please call a mental hospital.

If the world does end tomorrow, the I'm taking my TOMS, my phone, and my charger.
Which leads me to this:
Do you think there's cable in Heaven? Because I will not miss the American Idol finale.

I can NOT believe Haley got voted off of American Idol!
I cna't believe that guy Scotty is still in.
He isn't that good. He sounds like EVERY OTHER male country singer in the world.
It wasn't supposed tp be like this.
It was supposed to be Lauren and Haley in the top 2, and they were going to tie, and both get recording contracts, and everything in the world would have been right.

Surely Haley will get a recording contract and be super successful.

I hope with all of my heart that Lauren wins.
All of you should text vote to American Idol, for Lauren.
She is my love.

So...Charlie Sheen is a warlock now?

Charlie Sheen bailed out Lenny Dykstra, the former Met Baseball player, who allegedly was embezzling more than $400,000 from his bankrupt estate. He was held on bail for nearly a week, until Charlie Sheen swooped in like Superman, and saved his embezzling ass, for $22,000.

Charlie Sheen told TMZ, wait for it, "The rendition guilty trolls, that kidnapped my dear friend, Nails, clearly forgot that he is a fellow Vatican Assassin, and his best pal is a Warlock."

Here is what I got from that sentence: A bunch of river bridge monsters abducted Charlie Sheen the Warlock's best good friend, Lenny, who is made out of fingernails, forgot that he kills Jewish people for the Pope.

Based on his previous statement, I can conclude that Charlie Sheen is, in fact, a Nazi.

SCRE4M

SCRE4M is epic.
It is the best movie I have ever seen.


It's like God, Jesus, Wes Craven, and Neve Campbell got together and said "Hey you. Yeah, you Mark. We love you. Here is the future winner of Best Picture."

SCRE4M is genius. I dare you to go see it.
My mom and I went to go see it together and the theatre was empty. We were all alone in a gigantic theatre.
It was so amazing,
It was as amazing as candles.
You all know how I feel about candles.

There is only one thing I can compare watching it to: Riding a Unicorn with Hayden Panettiere through an Angel's back hair.

My fright level: Fucking Legit.

I'm writing this on my iPhone.
Sweet.


So I'm scared. It's 3:44 A.M. and I'm so scared I can't sleep so I'm blogging about it.
I watched "Scream" last night and twice today.
I watched "Scream 2" and "Scream 3" tonight.

"Scream 1" is my new favorite movie but the first part with Drew Berrymore is almost too scary to watch.
And I've seen the Rebecca Black music video for "Friday"

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ghostface is hiding in my closet right now.
Like, I don't know if I can sleep tonight.
I'm currently watching "South Park" for damage control.

I think the first "Scream" is the best. The second one was good but it wasn't nearly as amazing. The third was WAY better than the second, but the original is my favorite.
I'm dying to see the fourth.
Critics are saying it's as good as the first one.
I hope so!! I want to see it so friggin' bad.
Like with a passion.

I think I have an addiction.
A "Scream" addiction.
I love feeling the adrenaline rush through my vains.
It's like my own personal Heroin.
I really want to see the 4th.
Hayden friggin' Panettiere is in it.




I fucking love her.

Really? Scream 4?

I know that that movie fanchise kicks ass, and if I had to be stalked and then killed by any serial killer that I wanted or my whole family would be shot, I would choose Ghostface; But it's getting excessive.

If I escaped from the same serial killer 3 times, then he somehow found me, got my number and tried to kill me AGAIN, I'd be so pissed.

Like, if I were the main character, Sidney, and this was happening, for the 4th time, I'd ghetto stomp the dude doing this to me.
I could imagine the phone conversation...

*Ring-Ring-Ring-Ri-*

Me - *picks up phone* "Yellow?"

Ghostface - "Hello, Sidney. Remember me?"

Me - "Are you kidding?"

Ghostface - "What's your favorite scary movie?"

Me - "Really? Again? This was scary the first 2 times, now it's just getting excessive."

Ghostface - "You're not living this time."

Me "Come on dude. This is gotten to the point to where it's just sad and ridiculous."

Ghostface - "Bitch, you are gonna die!! HAHAHAH you have NO idea what's coming!!"

Me - "Listen up, assface. You are so annoying. If this doesn't stop, I am going to get my black friend, Bree, to kick your white ass. There are like, 7 BILLION other people on this planet, and you can't find another person to stalk? I wi-"

Ghostface - "Don't ever talk to me like that again or I'll gut you like a fi-"

Me - "Shut up! Shut up. I'm not finished talking to you, ass. You are not a nice person. Don't you have a life? Seriously! Go read a book. Go get a job. Go to college. Kiss a girl! Do something with your life, other than violently killing teenagers. By the way, you are supposed to be killing teens; I'm like 28 now. MOVE ON MAN. Quit killing people you crazy pshyco bitch! I will shove your knife up your ass. What is your problem?!"

Ghostface - "Well, umm. Wow.....I uhh..."

Me - "If you try to kill me I will junkpunch you."

*Click*

If somebody would stand up to the pshyco that is stalking them, they would end the killing spree, before it happened.

An ear molester and an actual rapist.

Okay, I have a few big issues with this so called singer/lover of Fridays.
Rebecca Black is the worst singer I've ever heard and I, along with the world's population, hate the song "Friday". Not only does Rebecca Black have the most Jewish voice that I've ever heard, but also she is a liar.
She claims she loves Fridays, but if she really did, she wouldn't have sang a song about it that sounds like the Devil's wedding song. I've heard her sing the National Anthem without all the auto-tune and junk, and she is actually pretty good. She would probably get to Hollywood Week on American Idol and not amount to anything else when it comes to singing.
She basically sucks at life.

Speaking of suck, I think Enrique Iglesias is a Rapist. Have you heard that song "Tonight I'm Lovin' You?"
IT'S F****ING CREEPY.
Seriously, somebody arrest this disgusting Cuban right now. What was he thinking? "Oh, I'll write a song about possibly raping some stripper, and to make it even more offensive, I'll add Ludacris into the mix. THAT will make it a sure-fire hit."
What has happened to music?



P.S. - I would only last 1 minute and 10 seconds if I were chained to a bunkbed with a Velociraptor, but, on a positive note, when it tore my arm off I beat him sincless with it.

I'm NOT So Raven.

The whole O.J. thing got irritating and boring so I'm done with that. On to bigger and better things.



The Oscars were pretty good, but I was wrong about everything. See below.



Category:                         My Picks:                                     Winners:
Best Actress                     Annette Bening                     Natalie Portman
Best Actor                        Jesse Eisenberg                            Colin Firth
Best Supporting Actress   Hailee Steinfeld                             Melissa Leo
Best Supporting Actor      Geoffrey Rush                              Christian Bale
Best Picture                      Black Swan, or Social Network   The Kings Speech



So clearly I'm not psychic. I got a few right. Though they were ones everyone knew were gonna win, like EVERYONE knew Toy Story 3 was gonna get best animation. That's implied.


The hosts were funny. Anne Hathaway was fricken hilarious, GAW-GES and sweet. James Franco, on the other hand, looked like he and Charlie Sheen had finished off a brick of cocaine just before the show started. Everybody is hating on my girl Anne, and it's annoying. You try hosting the biggest event on t.v., since the beginning of cussing time, in front of God and the whole world.

I hate that The King's Speech won best picture. The winner is always a stupid dumb movie that only old people care about. I wish Social Network or Toy Story 3 would have won! That would have been amazing if Toy Story 3 had won!! To be honest, I seriously thought that when they opened up the card that they were gonna say "....and the best picture is.....AVATAR!!!!!!"

Rigged.

This is an emergency blog. Sit down. Seriously your gonna die. SIT DOWN.

Lady GaGa....didn't win album of the year. I'M GOING TO CUT SOMEBODY. I'm soooooooo pissed. She wasn't even beat by an actual band! Guess who won. Arcade Fire. ARE YOU SHANKING KIDDING ME? Arcade Fire! O.K. if Eminem or Justin Bieber, or even friggin Katy Perry had won, I would be o.k. BUT ARCADE FIRE?????I feel like punching someone in the ear. What the Hell? Where is Kanye West when you need him?!

I'm seriously about to cry. Lady GaGa is perfection. Arcade Fire is a trashy garage band. Like who actually listens to A.F.? I Know....Emo people while they write poems about Native American oppression.

We have to do something. Lady Gaga is probably crying to herself in the Staples Center's restroom and thinking "What did I do wrong!?" We need to write Hate Mail to the acadamy or something. We need to help Mother Monster.

I'm not a Hater. This is JUST WRONG. Like who actually thinks Arcade Fire is better then LADY GAGA? Nobody. Whoever it was who made this decision for arcade fire to win was insane and needs to be labotamized..............Shutter Island style.

I'm grieving for the rest of the week.




Lady GaGa... If your reading this....we'll gettem next year.

pappa papparazzi

yesturday in science i learned that honey was the only food that doesnt go bad is honey. then i said "what about twinkies" and everybody laughed.

i think its sad when papparazzi make up stories about people. if i was lindsey lohan, id kick the TMZ guy's butt. but seriously i think its sad when celebs get a rep because of a lie. im one to talk, but i dont talk crap. i speak my mind. i dont lie. i mean i have an audition for tv shows in orlando in december, and i could get famous like lindsey. one minute i could be happy go lucky teen and the next i could be in a club drinking and partying, with things coming out of different orphaces. its sad really. why do only bad stories go out into the tabloids? thats the problem today. no one likes to hear anything positive! its horrible. im jst really sad about it. i thought i should just comment on that.

i did alot today. i mopped. i vaccumed. i cleaned my room. i took out the trash. i cleaned the trashcan. i also put dwn carpet! i feel really occomplished. i feel good but im about to pass out.

ooooooooooooooooooooooh..... yep nowwww i get it

i just realized why everybody is all offenced bt that song "if you seek amy" by britney spears. say "ifuseekamy" really really fast....dont got it....AGAIN.....again....again......again......again.....get it? I KNOW RYATE! i just realized! the song goes "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY!" but it sounds like "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO F.U.C.K. ME!" HOLY GOD!!!!! just thought i should tellyall thats my new favorite song.

I CANT JUST MAKE SHADOOBEE MAGICALLY APPEAR!

during 1st period art today, i had to take a giant, shadoobee. like a big one. like a "OMYGOD IM ABOUT TO SHIT MY PANTS IF I DPNT GET TO A TOILET NOW." well i said to the teacher," can i go to the restroom please?" well he was all like "NO" an i was like "dude its an emergency" "no!" he said. "PLEASE!" "NO" fuck it. here is what i wanted to say "fuck U! i have to take a shit!!! i walked out and took agiant dump in the toilet for 10 minits. i came back and he took me out into the hallway and he said "why did you not go before class?" "i didnt have to go. i cant magically make poop appear. im sorry" "GO TO THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "k? what do u want me to tell them?" "JUST GO" "ok"
i went and the VICE PRINCIBLE said i shouldnt have been sent down there but he still gave me lunch detention......................FML

Rihanna is a stupid face. the singer. yea i said it. she said on a radio show her music is more original then katy perry, KE$HA AND................................LADY GAGA. rihanna, YOU ARE A BITCH. your newest single sounds like a screaming bitchy 100 year old homophobic nun. so stupid. "IMA THA ONLA GRLA NA WARRRRRL." thats yur song? yur stupid SKEREWA YOUA! ok yea ik you couldve written california gurls, but you didn't. and i couldve written tick tock, and your love is my drug and take it off based on my own experiances, but i didnt. BUT LADY GAGA IS COMPLETELY OFF-FRIGGIN-LIMITS! lady gaga is THE most original artist in the world right now. i am in LOVE with her. katy perry's thing was forgivable. but this............i cant even look at you. if i ever see you talking bad about 3 of my favorite people again....i will buy you a kitty cat, let you begin to love it, then i will break into your house in the middle of the night when your sleeping, and punch you in the face.

the vma's

the vma's were sunday and they were amazing. you know the vma's? they are on mtv. they used to play music..... konyay is soooo stupid. well im pretty sure we all know what happened last year. a nice sweet little taytay swift trying to win a vma and out came kanye west and totally disrespected my gurl. "byonce rules yaehhhh henisee whatwhat. PIECE OUT...." so all year ive hated him. well turns out taylor was more hurt then i thought. she came outthey playedthe clip and she sang the most deep song that was kindaf a back handed insult..........heres a lil peice right here, "i gueeeesss 32 is still growing uuuuuupppp." i love her. buttt this wasnt over yet. count chocula over here performs a song that goes like this, "LETS HAVE A TOAST FOR THE DOUCHEBAGS, A TOAST FOR THE ASSHOOOLEEES, TOAST TO THE SKUNKBAGS AND A TOAST FOR THE JERKOFFFS." do i really even need to comment on this.

LADY GAGA IS MY IDOL. lady gaga was wareing a dress made out of raw meat and peta is getting all pissed of about it. SCREW PETA. i got to see CHER waring her TURN BACK TIME OUTFIT, give VIDEO OF THE YEAR to LADY GAGA who was waring an outfit made ENTIRLY MADE OF COW MEAT.i saw this and it was a religous experiance.