So...Charlie Sheen is a warlock now?

Charlie Sheen bailed out Lenny Dykstra, the former Met Baseball player, who allegedly was embezzling more than $400,000 from his bankrupt estate. He was held on bail for nearly a week, until Charlie Sheen swooped in like Superman, and saved his embezzling ass, for $22,000.

Charlie Sheen told TMZ, wait for it, "The rendition guilty trolls, that kidnapped my dear friend, Nails, clearly forgot that he is a fellow Vatican Assassin, and his best pal is a Warlock."

Here is what I got from that sentence: A bunch of river bridge monsters abducted Charlie Sheen the Warlock's best good friend, Lenny, who is made out of fingernails, forgot that he kills Jewish people for the Pope.

Based on his previous statement, I can conclude that Charlie Sheen is, in fact, a Nazi.