Al Pachino, is the biggest jerk I've ever met.
He likes to call himself "Scene" which just thought of, is laughable. I
may not be "Scene" or "Gothic" or "Emo" but I know "Scene". I'm pretty sure my bff Britney is "Scene" and he is definatley not that.
He was talking about how something that would hurt a real human, didn't hurt him and I was all "Yeah well, Al Pachino, nothing hurts you because you're a freaky emo. And he was all "I'm NLT emo, assface. I'm scene."
Me - "Actually my best friend is scene and let me tell you something. You're definently not scene. Scene kids don't wear baggy jeans. Scene kids don't wear tennis shoes. They definently DO NOT cut.
Al Pachino - "You don't know ANYTHING!! *Demonic Hiss*"
He hissed at me.
Hissed.
That next period me and Britney were sitting in History.
Then incomes Ally hissing demonically.
Me - "Would you please shut up. The whole scary moan/hiss thing is really friggin annoying."
Al - "So are you. I hope you die and go to hell you a**hole!!"
Me - "Ditto. DI-TTO."
The whole class laughed and I felt triumphant.
*Later during class in front of teacher while studying.*
Al - "Education is retarded. All that matters is getting a drivers licsence."
Teacher - "Yeah, then you can get in your clunker am drive it to McDonalds to go flip burgers."
Al - "Yeah well, my uncle started flippin' burgers at a McDonalds and now he owns 14 diffent McDonalds."
Me - *Siigh*
Britney - "we just want to friggin study.....JERK."
Al - *Demonic Roar*
He is such friggin weirdo.
I think he's gonna shoot up the school one day.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
My fright level: Fucking Legit.
I'm writing this on my iPhone.
Sweet.
So I'm scared. It's 3:44 A.M. and I'm so scared I can't sleep so I'm blogging about it.
I watched "Scream" last night and twice today.
I watched "Scream 2" and "Scream 3" tonight.
"Scream 1" is my new favorite movie but the first part with Drew Berrymore is almost too scary to watch.
And I've seen the Rebecca Black music video for "Friday"
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ghostface is hiding in my closet right now.
Like, I don't know if I can sleep tonight.
I'm currently watching "South Park" for damage control.
I think the first "Scream" is the best. The second one was good but it wasn't nearly as amazing. The third was WAY better than the second, but the original is my favorite.
I'm dying to see the fourth.
Critics are saying it's as good as the first one.
I hope so!! I want to see it so friggin' bad.
Like with a passion.
I think I have an addiction.
A "Scream" addiction.
I love feeling the adrenaline rush through my vains.
It's like my own personal Heroin.
I really want to see the 4th.
Hayden friggin' Panettiere is in it.
I fucking love her.
Sweet.
So I'm scared. It's 3:44 A.M. and I'm so scared I can't sleep so I'm blogging about it.
I watched "Scream" last night and twice today.
I watched "Scream 2" and "Scream 3" tonight.
"Scream 1" is my new favorite movie but the first part with Drew Berrymore is almost too scary to watch.
And I've seen the Rebecca Black music video for "Friday"
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ghostface is hiding in my closet right now.
Like, I don't know if I can sleep tonight.
I'm currently watching "South Park" for damage control.
I think the first "Scream" is the best. The second one was good but it wasn't nearly as amazing. The third was WAY better than the second, but the original is my favorite.
I'm dying to see the fourth.
Critics are saying it's as good as the first one.
I hope so!! I want to see it so friggin' bad.
Like with a passion.
I think I have an addiction.
A "Scream" addiction.
I love feeling the adrenaline rush through my vains.
It's like my own personal Heroin.
I really want to see the 4th.
Hayden friggin' Panettiere is in it.
I fucking love her.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Bossypants
It's my new favorite book.
It's by Tina Fey, and it's friggin hilarious.
It's inspired me.
I've given up on my last book, so I'm going to retry writing a book.
A funny book.
Not one of those memoirs where I admit that I was once a drug addict and/or that I was molested/abused by my older cousin Lance.
Books like that scare me.
I have to do it now.
There's pressure now that it's on the blog.
Crap.
It's by Tina Fey, and it's friggin hilarious.
It's inspired me.
I've given up on my last book, so I'm going to retry writing a book.
A funny book.
Not one of those memoirs where I admit that I was once a drug addict and/or that I was molested/abused by my older cousin Lance.
Books like that scare me.
I have to do it now.
There's pressure now that it's on the blog.
Crap.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Really? Scream 4?
I know that that movie fanchise kicks ass, and if I had to be stalked and then killed by any serial killer that I wanted or my whole family would be shot, I would choose Ghostface; But it's getting excessive.
If I escaped from the same serial killer 3 times, then he somehow found me, got my number and tried to kill me AGAIN, I'd be so pissed.
Like, if I were the main character, Sidney, and this was happening, for the 4th time, I'd ghetto stomp the dude doing this to me.
I could imagine the phone conversation...
*Ring-Ring-Ring-Ri-*
Me - *picks up phone* "Yellow?"
Ghostface - "Hello, Sidney. Remember me?"
Me - "Are you kidding?"
Ghostface - "What's your favorite scary movie?"
Me - "Really? Again? This was scary the first 2 times, now it's just getting excessive."
Ghostface - "You're not living this time."
Me "Come on dude. This is gotten to the point to where it's just sad and ridiculous."
Ghostface - "Bitch, you are gonna die!! HAHAHAH you have NO idea what's coming!!"
Me - "Listen up, assface. You are so annoying. If this doesn't stop, I am going to get my black friend, Bree, to kick your white ass. There are like, 7 BILLION other people on this planet, and you can't find another person to stalk? I wi-"
Ghostface - "Don't ever talk to me like that again or I'll gut you like a fi-"
Me - "Shut up! Shut up. I'm not finished talking to you, ass. You are not a nice person. Don't you have a life? Seriously! Go read a book. Go get a job. Go to college. Kiss a girl! Do something with your life, other than violently killing teenagers. By the way, you are supposed to be killing teens; I'm like 28 now. MOVE ON MAN. Quit killing people you crazy pshyco bitch! I will shove your knife up your ass. What is your problem?!"
Ghostface - "Well, umm. Wow.....I uhh..."
Me - "If you try to kill me I will junkpunch you."
*Click*
If somebody would stand up to the pshyco that is stalking them, they would end the killing spree, before it happened.
If I escaped from the same serial killer 3 times, then he somehow found me, got my number and tried to kill me AGAIN, I'd be so pissed.
Like, if I were the main character, Sidney, and this was happening, for the 4th time, I'd ghetto stomp the dude doing this to me.
I could imagine the phone conversation...
*Ring-Ring-Ring-Ri-*
Me - *picks up phone* "Yellow?"
Ghostface - "Hello, Sidney. Remember me?"
Me - "Are you kidding?"
Ghostface - "What's your favorite scary movie?"
Me - "Really? Again? This was scary the first 2 times, now it's just getting excessive."
Ghostface - "You're not living this time."
Me "Come on dude. This is gotten to the point to where it's just sad and ridiculous."
Ghostface - "Bitch, you are gonna die!! HAHAHAH you have NO idea what's coming!!"
Me - "Listen up, assface. You are so annoying. If this doesn't stop, I am going to get my black friend, Bree, to kick your white ass. There are like, 7 BILLION other people on this planet, and you can't find another person to stalk? I wi-"
Ghostface - "Don't ever talk to me like that again or I'll gut you like a fi-"
Me - "Shut up! Shut up. I'm not finished talking to you, ass. You are not a nice person. Don't you have a life? Seriously! Go read a book. Go get a job. Go to college. Kiss a girl! Do something with your life, other than violently killing teenagers. By the way, you are supposed to be killing teens; I'm like 28 now. MOVE ON MAN. Quit killing people you crazy pshyco bitch! I will shove your knife up your ass. What is your problem?!"
Ghostface - "Well, umm. Wow.....I uhh..."
Me - "If you try to kill me I will junkpunch you."
*Click*
If somebody would stand up to the pshyco that is stalking them, they would end the killing spree, before it happened.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Battle For The Living Room.
*Originally written at 2.54 am*
Right now all I want to do is watch a few old Grey's Anatomy episodes.
Yet, I'm not.
"Why?" you ask?
It's because my father is in the living room on his laptop working, when he should be doing that in his office.
I LOVE old episodes of Grey's and I have ALL of season 5 in there.
It's calling, crying, and BEGGING me to watch it. I want to watch it, oh, so much.
It's my destiny.
Right now, my father is keeping me from fulfilling that destiny.
You might be asking yourself "Why don't you just go in there and watch the dang show? It's not that big of a deal."
Well, you're wrong.
He hates it when I stay up past 9:15. I practically went through Normandy to move my bedtime, (That title is so stupid.) to 10:30 pm.
It's not like I'm in the military, and have to get up at 4 in the morning to go kill sandmonkeys.
It's so ridiculous.
I'm listening closely by the door to make sure the coast is clear to go start Grey's Anatomy, so I'm writing this on the iNotes app on my iPhone. I'm gonna post this in the morning.
I feel like a soldier in the war, writing in his journal.
Wait...
My Dad turned the porch lights off.
I hear movement in the living room.
It's quiet now.
SCORE.
UPDATE: Shit. He's in there.
He's fucking sleeping on the couch in the dark like some sort of Pedo-Ninja waiting in the night for his next victim.
Look's like there's not gonna be any Grey's Anatomy for me tonight.
*Sigh*
Right now all I want to do is watch a few old Grey's Anatomy episodes.
Yet, I'm not.
"Why?" you ask?
It's because my father is in the living room on his laptop working, when he should be doing that in his office.
I LOVE old episodes of Grey's and I have ALL of season 5 in there.
It's calling, crying, and BEGGING me to watch it. I want to watch it, oh, so much.
It's my destiny.
Right now, my father is keeping me from fulfilling that destiny.
You might be asking yourself "Why don't you just go in there and watch the dang show? It's not that big of a deal."
Well, you're wrong.
He hates it when I stay up past 9:15. I practically went through Normandy to move my bedtime, (That title is so stupid.) to 10:30 pm.
It's not like I'm in the military, and have to get up at 4 in the morning to go kill sandmonkeys.
It's so ridiculous.
I'm listening closely by the door to make sure the coast is clear to go start Grey's Anatomy, so I'm writing this on the iNotes app on my iPhone. I'm gonna post this in the morning.
I feel like a soldier in the war, writing in his journal.
Wait...
My Dad turned the porch lights off.
I hear movement in the living room.
It's quiet now.
SCORE.
UPDATE: Shit. He's in there.
He's fucking sleeping on the couch in the dark like some sort of Pedo-Ninja waiting in the night for his next victim.
Look's like there's not gonna be any Grey's Anatomy for me tonight.
*Sigh*
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Sickly
Yesturday I was sick and.......was forced....to stay home from school.
I don't exactly know what disease God struck me with, but I do know that it was awful, disgusting, deppressing, lame, and unnecessarily painful.
I don't even know how to describe it.
Oh, I know
It was like being in the mosh pit at a Lil' Wayne concert.
So Yeah, you know it was terrible.
My illness lasted for about a day and know I'm just exhausted.
This post was a lot better in my mind....
I just watched How Do You Know; it was funny.
I love Reese Witherspoon.
I don't exactly know what disease God struck me with, but I do know that it was awful, disgusting, deppressing, lame, and unnecessarily painful.
I don't even know how to describe it.
Oh, I know
It was like being in the mosh pit at a Lil' Wayne concert.
So Yeah, you know it was terrible.
My illness lasted for about a day and know I'm just exhausted.
This post was a lot better in my mind....
I just watched How Do You Know; it was funny.
I love Reese Witherspoon.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
An ear molester and an actual rapist.
Okay, I have a few big issues with this so called singer/lover of Fridays.
Rebecca Black is the worst singer I've ever heard and I, along with the world's population, hate the song "Friday". Not only does Rebecca Black have the most Jewish voice that I've ever heard, but also she is a liar.
She claims she loves Fridays, but if she really did, she wouldn't have sang a song about it that sounds like the Devil's wedding song. I've heard her sing the National Anthem without all the auto-tune and junk, and she is actually pretty good. She would probably get to Hollywood Week on American Idol and not amount to anything else when it comes to singing.
She basically sucks at life.
Speaking of suck, I think Enrique Iglesias is a Rapist. Have you heard that song "Tonight I'm Lovin' You?"
IT'S F****ING CREEPY.
Seriously, somebody arrest this disgusting Cuban right now. What was he thinking? "Oh, I'll write a song about possibly raping some stripper, and to make it even more offensive, I'll add Ludacris into the mix. THAT will make it a sure-fire hit."
What has happened to music?
P.S. - I would only last 1 minute and 10 seconds if I were chained to a bunkbed with a Velociraptor, but, on a positive note, when it tore my arm off I beat him sincless with it.
Rebecca Black is the worst singer I've ever heard and I, along with the world's population, hate the song "Friday". Not only does Rebecca Black have the most Jewish voice that I've ever heard, but also she is a liar.
She claims she loves Fridays, but if she really did, she wouldn't have sang a song about it that sounds like the Devil's wedding song. I've heard her sing the National Anthem without all the auto-tune and junk, and she is actually pretty good. She would probably get to Hollywood Week on American Idol and not amount to anything else when it comes to singing.
She basically sucks at life.
Speaking of suck, I think Enrique Iglesias is a Rapist. Have you heard that song "Tonight I'm Lovin' You?"
IT'S F****ING CREEPY.
Seriously, somebody arrest this disgusting Cuban right now. What was he thinking? "Oh, I'll write a song about possibly raping some stripper, and to make it even more offensive, I'll add Ludacris into the mix. THAT will make it a sure-fire hit."
What has happened to music?
P.S. - I would only last 1 minute and 10 seconds if I were chained to a bunkbed with a Velociraptor, but, on a positive note, when it tore my arm off I beat him sincless with it.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Exercise? Maybe. Diet? Unfortunatley.
So Britney is starting to exercise and doesn't really even need to. My Mom is on a diet and excersising and losing weight FAST. My Dad is on a gleuten free diet. My sister is eye candy. A lot of the guys at school piss me off by being muscular.
I'm tired of being the fat ass. I can't even see my toes anymore without sucking in. I can't wear American Eagle clothes because I would look like a poser due to the midget that has attached itself to my torso.
Remember that 3 Day diet? I gained four pounds.
I actually was quite the runner for about a week. What a glorious week that was. My calves were made of steel. But then I got sick and got out of my cycle. Even if I had stuck to running I wouldn't have gotten skinny. I can't believe I'm having weight problems at 13. I refuse to let my mother weigh less than me. I shall start a diet on Saturday, but tomorrow I'm gonna go out with a BANG. Bring in the Jalepeno Poppers.
Tomorrow is gonna be HELL though. I'm gonna need to pig out based on the fact that it's April Fool's Day tomorrow. Aside from Valentine's Day, it's the worst holiday known to man. I'm going to be bombarded with cruel pranks. Who knows. It could be an egg attack or I might be slushied "Glee" style. Wish me luck. I'll tell ya ALLLLLL about it tomorrow. But it won't be live because Blogger.com hates me.
I'm tired of being the fat ass. I can't even see my toes anymore without sucking in. I can't wear American Eagle clothes because I would look like a poser due to the midget that has attached itself to my torso.
Remember that 3 Day diet? I gained four pounds.
I actually was quite the runner for about a week. What a glorious week that was. My calves were made of steel. But then I got sick and got out of my cycle. Even if I had stuck to running I wouldn't have gotten skinny. I can't believe I'm having weight problems at 13. I refuse to let my mother weigh less than me. I shall start a diet on Saturday, but tomorrow I'm gonna go out with a BANG. Bring in the Jalepeno Poppers.
Tomorrow is gonna be HELL though. I'm gonna need to pig out based on the fact that it's April Fool's Day tomorrow. Aside from Valentine's Day, it's the worst holiday known to man. I'm going to be bombarded with cruel pranks. Who knows. It could be an egg attack or I might be slushied "Glee" style. Wish me luck. I'll tell ya ALLLLLL about it tomorrow. But it won't be live because Blogger.com hates me.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Guiltfest 2011
I don't ever do this, but I have to apoligize to somebody.
She has forgiven me on several occasions in the past few hours, but I feel like this will make it official......I feel like Bill Clinton.
I'd like to formally apoligize to Britney Raye Hamlin for forgetting to get her purse and her binder after the bell rang in History class when she left to go do something. It was because of my retarded/A.D.H.D. mind that it got locked in the class when the teacher left for the day, because we are the last class that our History teacher has.
It was my fault that she had to go to the princible to ask to get in to the classroom she left it in.
It was my fault that she was late to her next class.
*Sighs* I'm so sorry, Britney. I feel incredibly guilty. You looked extremeley pissed, and I felt AWFUL. I'm so sorry. Now that that is off of my chest I feel much better.
I have this problem where I always feel guilty for things even when the person has said they've forgiven me. Azle has done one Hell of a job with my self esteem.
EXAMPLE: A.S.P.C.A. commercials. I feel guilty for being so greedy that I can't even spare $5 per month to save those sad little three-legged, one-eyed, earless puppies. I almost broke both of my hands trying to find the remote to change the channel when that commercial came on. It's that damn song they play. "In the arms of the Angel. Fly away from here, toniiiiight." I cry every time I see that.
OOOH I almost forgot! This guy Dylan at school used to be the meanest person on earth, and all of a sudden we're all buddy buddy best freinds. Well, not best freinds, but he's been strangly nice to me for the past two days. Him and this other guy Johnny are being really nice!! I'm just like what in the world!? Like they laugh at ALL of my jokes and are sincere about it. They sit by me in Science now. They are being like super duper kind. Am I gonna have to put out a couple of freind requests on Facebook? Maybe they had a change of heart, or it's a mischievous plan to gain my trust and then suddenly use that trust to destroy me.
Oh lord.
Now I feel guilty for doubting them. I changed my background in an effort to get out of my fourth season lull.
I hope y'all like it.
DON'T FORGET my live post on Friday. I'm not exactly sure on how it's gonna work yet but we can figure it out. ONE MORE THING THEN I'LL LEAVE Y'ALL ALONE. Sorry that all of my posts lately have been one big paragraph. Stupid blogger.com won't let me make new paragraphs. I hope they fix it. It's friggin' annoying.
She has forgiven me on several occasions in the past few hours, but I feel like this will make it official......I feel like Bill Clinton.
I'd like to formally apoligize to Britney Raye Hamlin for forgetting to get her purse and her binder after the bell rang in History class when she left to go do something. It was because of my retarded/A.D.H.D. mind that it got locked in the class when the teacher left for the day, because we are the last class that our History teacher has.
It was my fault that she had to go to the princible to ask to get in to the classroom she left it in.
It was my fault that she was late to her next class.
*Sighs* I'm so sorry, Britney. I feel incredibly guilty. You looked extremeley pissed, and I felt AWFUL. I'm so sorry. Now that that is off of my chest I feel much better.
I have this problem where I always feel guilty for things even when the person has said they've forgiven me. Azle has done one Hell of a job with my self esteem.
EXAMPLE: A.S.P.C.A. commercials. I feel guilty for being so greedy that I can't even spare $5 per month to save those sad little three-legged, one-eyed, earless puppies. I almost broke both of my hands trying to find the remote to change the channel when that commercial came on. It's that damn song they play. "In the arms of the Angel. Fly away from here, toniiiiight." I cry every time I see that.
OOOH I almost forgot! This guy Dylan at school used to be the meanest person on earth, and all of a sudden we're all buddy buddy best freinds. Well, not best freinds, but he's been strangly nice to me for the past two days. Him and this other guy Johnny are being really nice!! I'm just like what in the world!? Like they laugh at ALL of my jokes and are sincere about it. They sit by me in Science now. They are being like super duper kind. Am I gonna have to put out a couple of freind requests on Facebook? Maybe they had a change of heart, or it's a mischievous plan to gain my trust and then suddenly use that trust to destroy me.
Oh lord.
Now I feel guilty for doubting them. I changed my background in an effort to get out of my fourth season lull.
I hope y'all like it.
DON'T FORGET my live post on Friday. I'm not exactly sure on how it's gonna work yet but we can figure it out. ONE MORE THING THEN I'LL LEAVE Y'ALL ALONE. Sorry that all of my posts lately have been one big paragraph. Stupid blogger.com won't let me make new paragraphs. I hope they fix it. It's friggin' annoying.
Monday, March 28, 2011
4th Season
I just posted something but this is important. I'm in a lull. The blog is starting to go into what I call it's 4th season. It's like when a show is really good show is amazing in the first 3 seasons, and then it starts to lose it's quality in the fourth season. What I'm hoping what's gonna happen, is that I'm gonna lower everybody's expectations, so when I eventually come up with something good everybody will think it's the most amazing thing ever. I miss being in my 2nd season. Because I feel bored with this blog I have a BIG announcment. On Friday, April 1st, 2011.....I'm doing a LIVE post. So come to my blog at around 8ish on Friday! It should be epic.
Hello, I'm embarrassed. What's your name?
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In Advisory, (Advisory's our schools ridiculous way of saying "Homeroom") we were listening to the announcments and about to watch "Indiana Jones; The Raiders of the Lost Ark".
There was a long pause on the loud speaker. That was when my body decided that I've been being a bitch lately, and made me sneeze the biggest sneeze I've ever sneezed.
It wasn't a normal sneeze either. It was a nasty, slobbery, snotty, phlemy, disgusting one. It was like debris flying out of my nose and mouth, and on to my face. My whole face. I was stuck in my seat.
Let me ellaborate on that.
Our Advisory class's desks are arranged and an extremely retarded way. Our teacher tried to set the desks up like an arena, so we we're all facing the front. The desks get moved around a lot throughout the class and today I got sealed in on my left and my right.
SO when I sneezed that awful sneeze I couldn't go anywhere. It was on my hands and face and I was embarassed.
This one kid, Paco, got up, got tissues, and shoved them in my face. I was slowly sliding deeper and deeper in my chair until I was on the ground with tears in my eyes. I was about to cry but I swollowed the tears went to the trash can with my head held high....all while the announcments were going on.
My freinds gave me a peptalk...after they said "That was embarassing to watch." That was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
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In Advisory, (Advisory's our schools ridiculous way of saying "Homeroom") we were listening to the announcments and about to watch "Indiana Jones; The Raiders of the Lost Ark".
There was a long pause on the loud speaker. That was when my body decided that I've been being a bitch lately, and made me sneeze the biggest sneeze I've ever sneezed.
It wasn't a normal sneeze either. It was a nasty, slobbery, snotty, phlemy, disgusting one. It was like debris flying out of my nose and mouth, and on to my face. My whole face. I was stuck in my seat.
Let me ellaborate on that.
Our Advisory class's desks are arranged and an extremely retarded way. Our teacher tried to set the desks up like an arena, so we we're all facing the front. The desks get moved around a lot throughout the class and today I got sealed in on my left and my right.
SO when I sneezed that awful sneeze I couldn't go anywhere. It was on my hands and face and I was embarassed.
This one kid, Paco, got up, got tissues, and shoved them in my face. I was slowly sliding deeper and deeper in my chair until I was on the ground with tears in my eyes. I was about to cry but I swollowed the tears went to the trash can with my head held high....all while the announcments were going on.
My freinds gave me a peptalk...after they said "That was embarassing to watch." That was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
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Thursday, March 24, 2011
Ahhhhh! Roofies!!
A couple of weeks ago my school had a dance. It was unsuprisingly ghetto.
It was pretty awful. The music was like excessivly and freakishly loud.
I had to yell the same sentance 10 times each to get my point across. The 2 highlights were
1.) My bestfriend Britney was there.
2.) I danced like a fool with one of my friends Morgan.
Luckily Al Pachino wasn't there. He was "studying" for UIL, (UIL is this big academic competition that I went to and won 5th place in. HOLLA.) but I'm sure that he was actually out trying to drink people's blood. Have I mentioned he thinks he's a Vampire? Because...he thinks he's a Vampire.
The dance was very stereotypical. There were even a couple of dance offs. What is this? West Side Story meets the Ghetto? It was like a bad ghetto remake of "Bring It On". I can't say the word "GHETTO" enough.
There was this one weird Indian/Mexican kid who kept BLATENTLY hitting on Britney. It got to the point where she almost screamed "My body, MY CHOICE." in his face. He like even did the stupid yawn/stretch over the shoulder move on her. She kept looking at me and we both exchanged a glance that ment..."Omfg. Somebody arrest him right NOW." He gave his jacket to her and she was all "Umm NO." and he was all "FML. Please. I love you. I only want to be with you. You and ONLY you." and she was still all "EFF no." and I was all "ACCESS DENIED.". That was basically what happened but nobody said anything. Everytime he made a move on her I texted Britney "Awkward turtle." She had a hard time keeping a straight face.
We ended up running away from him like The Devil was chasing us. But he kept finding us. At one point during the night he offered her a drink. It was an OPENED Diet Coke. "Ummm. Surrrre. -__-" She walked away and she threw in trash. "I'm glad you did that. I'm pretty sure he was trying to rape you." I said. She replied "Yeah, me too. Ever since I saw 'The Hangover' everytime I get offered an open drink I feel like yelling 'AHHHH!! Roofies!!!!'" Then we laughed out loud for about 10 minutes.
Do we have a future Mexican/Indian date raper on our hands? I think yes.
It was pretty awful. The music was like excessivly and freakishly loud.
I had to yell the same sentance 10 times each to get my point across. The 2 highlights were
1.) My bestfriend Britney was there.
2.) I danced like a fool with one of my friends Morgan.
Luckily Al Pachino wasn't there. He was "studying" for UIL, (UIL is this big academic competition that I went to and won 5th place in. HOLLA.) but I'm sure that he was actually out trying to drink people's blood. Have I mentioned he thinks he's a Vampire? Because...he thinks he's a Vampire.
The dance was very stereotypical. There were even a couple of dance offs. What is this? West Side Story meets the Ghetto? It was like a bad ghetto remake of "Bring It On". I can't say the word "GHETTO" enough.
There was this one weird Indian/Mexican kid who kept BLATENTLY hitting on Britney. It got to the point where she almost screamed "My body, MY CHOICE." in his face. He like even did the stupid yawn/stretch over the shoulder move on her. She kept looking at me and we both exchanged a glance that ment..."Omfg. Somebody arrest him right NOW." He gave his jacket to her and she was all "Umm NO." and he was all "FML. Please. I love you. I only want to be with you. You and ONLY you." and she was still all "EFF no." and I was all "ACCESS DENIED.". That was basically what happened but nobody said anything. Everytime he made a move on her I texted Britney "Awkward turtle." She had a hard time keeping a straight face.
We ended up running away from him like The Devil was chasing us. But he kept finding us. At one point during the night he offered her a drink. It was an OPENED Diet Coke. "Ummm. Surrrre. -__-" She walked away and she threw in trash. "I'm glad you did that. I'm pretty sure he was trying to rape you." I said. She replied "Yeah, me too. Ever since I saw 'The Hangover' everytime I get offered an open drink I feel like yelling 'AHHHH!! Roofies!!!!'" Then we laughed out loud for about 10 minutes.
Do we have a future Mexican/Indian date raper on our hands? I think yes.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Stinky Sturkey
Sorry about all the "That's So Raven" refrences. I've been watching it a lot lately.
O.k. you know how some people have an oder. Well, up until I started going to Azle JH, I thought there were only 3 categorys of oder; Lovely, Normal, and Stanky. I was Wrong. There's one more.
It's name is Kealon
It's called Kealon because that is the name of the person who inspired this new category. He is the ONLY person, in the U.S. at least, who smells like this. He is literally the worst smelling, person, object, animal, I've ever met. He is the real life, Ben Sturkey.
THE SMELL -
It's hellish. I don't think he has showered in, I'm not exaggerating, at least a year. When he walks past me it's like "The Situation" is raping my left nostril, and Flava Flav is raping my right nostril. That is the only thing I can compare it to. It's rediculous that he can't even go jump in a lake for 5 seconds. That would help! I can't believe nobody's ever confronted him. You know, I'm worried about his home life. What kind of parents would let it go on like this. Willie Nelson would be like "Dude, you need to take it down a notch." Kealon needs to jump in a pool that is 4% lye, 50% Shampoo, 1% water, 10% Pro Active, and 35% Ralph Lauren Calogne.
THE APPEARANCE -
It's hellish. His hair.....excuse me while I dry heave........It's like he soaked it in mud and bacon grease. It's long, messy, and as nasty as HAYELL. He is the definition of "TOW UP." His acne, is like a Pro Active infomercial. It's like a huge red tumer. I have pimples, and acne and stuff, but this is excessive. I'm gonna give him a Pro Active gift basket or something. It's just plain GROSS! His clothing is dirty just from touching him. Seriously, his clothing gets brown stains on it and crap. What's worse is that only Britney, Justice, and I are the only ones bothered buy him. What the HELL!? We have to stage an intervention. He can't be healthy. HE CAN'T. We really HAVE to do an intervention, be his shoulder to cry on, if only to keep him from being a date raper later in life.
O.k. you know how some people have an oder. Well, up until I started going to Azle JH, I thought there were only 3 categorys of oder; Lovely, Normal, and Stanky. I was Wrong. There's one more.
It's name is Kealon
It's called Kealon because that is the name of the person who inspired this new category. He is the ONLY person, in the U.S. at least, who smells like this. He is literally the worst smelling, person, object, animal, I've ever met. He is the real life, Ben Sturkey.
THE SMELL -
It's hellish. I don't think he has showered in, I'm not exaggerating, at least a year. When he walks past me it's like "The Situation" is raping my left nostril, and Flava Flav is raping my right nostril. That is the only thing I can compare it to. It's rediculous that he can't even go jump in a lake for 5 seconds. That would help! I can't believe nobody's ever confronted him. You know, I'm worried about his home life. What kind of parents would let it go on like this. Willie Nelson would be like "Dude, you need to take it down a notch." Kealon needs to jump in a pool that is 4% lye, 50% Shampoo, 1% water, 10% Pro Active, and 35% Ralph Lauren Calogne.
THE APPEARANCE -
It's hellish. His hair.....excuse me while I dry heave........It's like he soaked it in mud and bacon grease. It's long, messy, and as nasty as HAYELL. He is the definition of "TOW UP." His acne, is like a Pro Active infomercial. It's like a huge red tumer. I have pimples, and acne and stuff, but this is excessive. I'm gonna give him a Pro Active gift basket or something. It's just plain GROSS! His clothing is dirty just from touching him. Seriously, his clothing gets brown stains on it and crap. What's worse is that only Britney, Justice, and I are the only ones bothered buy him. What the HELL!? We have to stage an intervention. He can't be healthy. HE CAN'T. We really HAVE to do an intervention, be his shoulder to cry on, if only to keep him from being a date raper later in life.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I'm NOT So Raven.
The whole O.J. thing got irritating and boring so I'm done with that. On to bigger and better things.
The Oscars were pretty good, but I was wrong about everything. See below.
Category: My Picks: Winners:
Best Actress Annette Bening Natalie Portman
Best Actor Jesse Eisenberg Colin Firth
Best Supporting Actress Hailee Steinfeld Melissa Leo
Best Supporting Actor Geoffrey Rush Christian Bale
Best Picture Black Swan, or Social Network The Kings Speech
So clearly I'm not psychic. I got a few right. Though they were ones everyone knew were gonna win, like EVERYONE knew Toy Story 3 was gonna get best animation. That's implied.
The hosts were funny. Anne Hathaway was fricken hilarious, GAW-GES and sweet. James Franco, on the other hand, looked like he and Charlie Sheen had finished off a brick of cocaine just before the show started. Everybody is hating on my girl Anne, and it's annoying. You try hosting the biggest event on t.v., since the beginning of cussing time, in front of God and the whole world.
I hate that The King's Speech won best picture. The winner is always a stupid dumb movie that only old people care about. I wish Social Network or Toy Story 3 would have won! That would have been amazing if Toy Story 3 had won!! To be honest, I seriously thought that when they opened up the card that they were gonna say "....and the best picture is.....AVATAR!!!!!!"
The Oscars were pretty good, but I was wrong about everything. See below.
Category: My Picks: Winners:
Best Actress Annette Bening Natalie Portman
Best Actor Jesse Eisenberg Colin Firth
Best Supporting Actress Hailee Steinfeld Melissa Leo
Best Supporting Actor Geoffrey Rush Christian Bale
Best Picture Black Swan, or Social Network The Kings Speech
So clearly I'm not psychic. I got a few right. Though they were ones everyone knew were gonna win, like EVERYONE knew Toy Story 3 was gonna get best animation. That's implied.
The hosts were funny. Anne Hathaway was fricken hilarious, GAW-GES and sweet. James Franco, on the other hand, looked like he and Charlie Sheen had finished off a brick of cocaine just before the show started. Everybody is hating on my girl Anne, and it's annoying. You try hosting the biggest event on t.v., since the beginning of cussing time, in front of God and the whole world.
I hate that The King's Speech won best picture. The winner is always a stupid dumb movie that only old people care about. I wish Social Network or Toy Story 3 would have won! That would have been amazing if Toy Story 3 had won!! To be honest, I seriously thought that when they opened up the card that they were gonna say "....and the best picture is.....AVATAR!!!!!!"
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