Stinky Sturkey

Sorry about all the "That's So Raven" refrences. I've been watching it a lot lately.

O.k. you know how some people have an oder. Well, up until I started going to Azle JH, I thought there were only 3 categorys of oder; Lovely, Normal, and Stanky. I was Wrong. There's one more.

It's name is Kealon

It's called Kealon because that is the name of the person who inspired this new category. He is the ONLY person, in the U.S. at least, who smells like this. He is literally the worst smelling, person, object, animal, I've ever met. He is the real life, Ben Sturkey.

THE SMELL -

It's hellish. I don't think he has showered in, I'm not exaggerating, at least a year. When he walks past me it's like "The Situation" is raping my left nostril, and Flava Flav is raping my right nostril. That is the only thing I can compare it to. It's rediculous that he can't even go jump in a lake for 5 seconds. That would help! I can't believe nobody's ever confronted him. You know, I'm worried about his home life. What kind of parents would let it go on like this. Willie Nelson would be like "Dude, you need to take it down a notch." Kealon needs to jump in a pool that is 4% lye, 50% Shampoo, 1% water, 10% Pro Active, and 35% Ralph Lauren Calogne.

THE APPEARANCE -

It's hellish. His hair.....excuse me while I dry heave........It's like he soaked it in mud and bacon grease. It's long, messy, and as nasty as HAYELL. He is the definition of "TOW UP." His acne, is like a Pro Active infomercial. It's like a huge red tumer. I have pimples, and acne and stuff, but this is excessive. I'm gonna give him a Pro Active gift basket or something. It's just plain GROSS! His clothing is dirty just from touching him. Seriously, his clothing gets brown stains on it and crap. What's worse is that only Britney, Justice, and I are the only ones bothered buy him. What the HELL!? We have to stage an intervention. He can't be healthy. HE CAN'T. We really HAVE to do an intervention, be his shoulder to cry on, if only to keep him from being a date raper later in life.