O.J. and Her Golf Gloves.

Today, I was walking outside and about to go inside. A mean girl who is in one of my classes, was behind me. When we got to the door, I was being nice and held the door open for her. She gave me a dirty luck and rushed in front of me and slowed down. Okay, this annoying enough when it happens on the road when your driving and even MORE annoying when your walking. I was pissed but not enough to vocalize my frustration. When we were walking she stopped. Stopped. Just stopped in the middle of the staircase. I waited 5 seconds, then I walked around her. Then while I was hurrying up the staircase she screamed "JACKASS!" What the hell was this girls problem? She was the one being a dumb walker. Walking in the hallways during passing period is like driving during rush hour. If she were she were a car she would have been in the middle lane of the highway blocking everybody from getting to work. I stared at here pimply face and said "Really? I'm a Jackass? O.k. whatever you are not even worth it." I went on with my day until 8th period. This is the class that I have with her.

I go in and later in the class, I am telling a friend my phone number. The girl who called me a jackass, was being a stalker, and wrote down my number. We will call her "O.J. Simpson".

O.J. Simpson called my name and yelled "HAHAH I have your number now! Heheheheh."

I looked at the numbers she had written down. It was the correct number. I looked at her in horror. It's go time. The following conversation ensued.

Me - "Throw that away. Burn it. Rip it up. Get rid of it. Right now."

O.J. Simpson - "No. I am KEEPING IT. MWAHAHAHAHAH!"

Me - "No you won't. I have a right to not give you my number."

O.J. - "Too bad."

I was standing up now.

Me - "Give it back or I will take it back."

O.J. - *shakes head*

I got up and walked over to her desk. I try to grab the paper. She slaps my hand and screams "NO. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I smiled. She sits next to the teacher.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say 'F off '?" I asked the chunky latina looking girl who had yelled it.

"Yes. You deserve it." What? I couldn't believe it. How could she say that to ME, let alone in front of a teacher? I looked at our teacher and she was still doing her work. She was pretending to not have noticed, even though she was smiling. "Uhhh excuse me? Teacher? Are you going to do something?" "Do what?" She said keeping in laughter. This was to much. She was neglecting her bullying me. The teacher (Let's call her Johnny Cochran. He was O.J.'s Lawyer in the murder trial.) then tried to blame me. "Why are you out of your seat? You are breaking the rules!"

Me - "I'm braking the rules? Really? She just said 'Fk off' to me! I was getting back m y ohone number she had stolen. I don't want her to stalk my life. I have rights."

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear that."

Me - "SHE IS 4 INCHES AWAY FROM YOU!!! She stole my number and I got up t take it away. Then she said F off! See!?"

I pointed down to the journal and she had scratched out my number, to where it looked like she just drew a black square. It's like im the detective and when I look down to my walky talkyto call it in, and then she throws the dead body she killed, into a woodchipper.

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear her and there is no number. Your lying. Now sit down or you will have lunch detention."

Me - "O.k. I have been threatened AFTER SCHOOL DETENTION for whispering. I sit in the back. She sits straight in front of you. YOU HEARD HER."

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear her. Now sit down."

Me - *Turns around to the class* "O.K. if you heard her say 'F Off!' to me, raise your hand.

Class - *Everybody raises hands.*

Ms. Cochran - "SIT DOWN NOW."

I sat down but I didn't stop arguing until the bell rang for us to go home. Then I talked to Johnny Cochran outside. "Don't lie. You heard her say that. If I said that I would be in the office in a New York Minute." I said. "I don't have to send people to the office if I don't want to." She said.

I'm telling the principle tomorrow. Part 2 tomorrow.

BRITNEY RAYE HAMLIN:D

She is so cool. She is like really funny and amazingly good at being my friend.

she has 2 blogs and they are VERY awesome. They are as awesome as Paramore, Cher, Lady Gaga, Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift , the Dixie Chicks and Ke$ha put together. well. not that awesome. But like as awesome as an Elephant or something. And elephants are awesome.

Well Al Pacino had an orgasm on the bus.

Let me ellaborate. A girl bit him. Yeah not hit, or kissed. BIT. He got extremely turned on or something and he was telling me and Britney about it and it was awkward. Then he started complaining on how his thumb is like numb where he got bit. W.T.F.
Vampires? Yes most likely, the girl who bit him was a Vampire.

The day before he was trying to ask Britney to hang out this weekend and I got 10 feet behind him and was flailing my arms all around and jumping and mouthing "NO. NOOO. NOOOOOOOO! For the love of god say no!" She almost started laughing but managed to come up with a lie along the lines of "uhhmmm I have....um I......I'm grounded. And my aunt shirly died and we have to cremate her and flush her down the toilet and my family has to celebrate early thanks...giving. So...I'm...........kind of swamped.... *~*" BAHAHHAHAHAH

I learned from one of Britney's blogs that after I went off on him, Al Pacino was talking all kindsa shadoobee saying "You should've seen it. I wish he had hit me I would've killed him! bahahahah!"

-__- *sigh* Monday should be fun.

OMG. I almost forgot to say what her 2 blogs are called!

http://briimurder.blogspot.com/
http://musicgameslove.blogspot.com/

And please excuse her profile picture. It is just like a really bad pic! She is actually super pretty! hahahah. Sorry that sounded stalkerish.

A Mexican Gang Memeber Being mean and Teachers Cussing. O yeah and K Fed.

Sorry that I didn't post monday! I procrastinate.

I few days ago I came into to school late. by literally 2 milliseconds. Well Mr. al pacino over here decides to make it clear to the whole class...that I'm late...by two milliseconds.

Al Pacino - "YOUR LATE!!!!!"

Me - "Your moms late."

Al Pacino - "YOUR PUBERTY'S LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

....... -_ -........ This guy is ridiculous. There were so many things I could've said. He has a scar on his face that makes me think he was recently been jumped out of a gang or just got in one. He once told me a very disturbing and graphic story about him getting laid, that was VERY involuntary. I would write about it, but it is disturbing. Anyway I thought karma would get back at him. So wierdly...I let him get away with this.

Me - "Watch it asshole."

That was unlike me. He was lucky.

Later in the period I was a lot more mad. The whole "karma" thing passed. I was pissed. I was pissed that I missed my last chance to kick some ass. I was not going to miss it the next time. He started to ask the art teacher if his clay animal sculpture could have three legs. Both me and the teacher thought that was a stupid question and I said under my breath "Stupid." Scarface decided to come up with the most original insult anyone has ever said to me.



Al Pacino - "Yeah...well...YOUR GAY."



*hehaha! oooooh he is gonna die.*



Me - "Really? Did you just call me gay right now? Really?"



Al Pacino - "yep really!"



*This angers me. Time to emo screamo this bitch.*



Me in emo/screamo voice - "OH HELLNO! REALLY? no, really. Are you seriously calling me gay right now? What the hell? You do realize I will KILL you right? Couldn't you come up with something a little bit more..mmhh idaknow...ORIGINAL!??!?Youknow what 'Al Pacino' at least I don't have a scar on my face the size of Manhatten. Back The F off and go take a shower you smelly idiot. I will elbow you in the face."

Meanwhile during my fit of rage the art teacher is screaming almost as loud as me "CALM DOWN NOW!" When I finally got all my anger out, the teacher was all like "AL PACINO TO THE OFFICE." Then he called the office and said "Hey I just sent Al Pacino to the office. Yeah he just called ANOTHER kid gay again."

He took me out into the Hallway and said LITERALLY these words.

Teacher - "*sighs* look....I'm sick of that shit too but...."

My exact face - . ______________________ .

Teacher - "DAYAUM DUUUUDE!!!!! you gatta calm down!"

*20 second later...*

Me - "ummmmmmmm...ok. Can I go to the restroom?

after he said yes I hightailed it to the restrooom. After I got done laughing, I realized I was pissed. I was pissed at Al pacino and his mafia crew and his ugly dumb face. His dumby dumby dumb dumb head. I came back to the class and the teacher asked me to go to the office to fill out some forms or something. Strange.

I get there and I am sent in a room with Al Pacino and the vp.

I should've known. It was a trap.

I sat down and I was thinking "What the heyal?" Al started saying I called him a retarded and a stinky mexican and all this bullcrap. I didn't even get to tell my side of the story but the VP was all like "Yall don't know what happened to eachother. So you can't be bullies."

Ok let me just stop this right there. There is a difference between being a BULLY and being like me. Ok? A BULLY, is somebody that insults innocent people, like me, and tries to destroy every ounce of this person's confidence to where they explode and embarrass themselves in front of a WHOLE CLASSROOM. BULLYING is where you are such an asshole, that they drive you to stand up for yourself and end up getting hurt by somebody 10x their size. BULLYING is where you turn your victims into either a battered housewife or into somebody like me. SOMEBODY LIKE ME is a person who makes smart and funny retorts against a BULLY. SOMEBODY LIKE ME is a person who has to keep explaining to neanderthals, that it IS infact possible a STRAIGHT person can think gays should have rights. SOMEBODY LIKE ME is a person who is sent to the office, detention etc, for doing something to stand up for themselves. SOMEBODY LIKE ME defends innocent people against bullies. SOMEBODY LIKE ME never NEVER makes fun of innocent people. PEOPLE LIKE ME make fun of bullies. Bullies and people like me, are COMPLETE opposites.

I was forced to shake the jerk's hand, and say freaking sorry. I left the room steaming. I literallly went around the other side of the school as not to come in contact with Al Pacino. This was a sad day for people like me.

Later in the day,it turns out Mr. Pacino decided to tell K Fed about this. HIS version. HIS STUPID version. I was walking down the stairs on my way to my next class. For some reason the hallway was empty. As if it were an old western showdown. I hear K Feds blackccent say to me "Mess with my boy again, and you won' be able to mess with another person again." A tumbleweed crossed inbetween us.

Me - *turns around viciously.* Excuse me?"

K Fed - "You heard me bitch."

I actually do call him K Fed. Not just in the blog.

Me - "O.k. You don't know me so I am going to give you one chance to turn around and go the opposite direction."

K Fed - "I ain't scared."

Me - "Listen up K Fed. You have NO right to fuck with me. I have never done anything to you. You do not know the whole story. Even if you did you probably wouldn't even understand it, do to the fact that you have the IQ of Hitler. Your 'BOY' was the one messing with me. He is as big an asshole as your prison record. BACK OFF and goodbye. oh, and by the way K Fed, drop the blackccent. You live in friggin Azle Tx. Not Brooklyn."

K Fed - " Yea well y-"

Me - "Shut up bastard."

He is fricken scary as that Mel Gison audiotape, so I had a mini-seizure when I turned around.

Kevin Constien can you come to school with me so you can be like my bodyguard. I could really use a 6ft tall dude with muscles the size of Alaska on my side the rest if the year.

oh facebook.

I don't know about you, but I love getting in fights on facebook, through texts, or phone calls. It is really a good time. I took the liberty of posting one of my favorites.


This facebook conversation happened back in september 2010.

Friend 1 - I'm officially deleting Andrew. I am sick of his game posts! Who is with me!


Me - Hahahah I will friend him just to unfriend him!


Friend 1 - That is the way to do it! Woop!


Friend 2 - Not even friends with him!


*now this is where it gets good.*


*insert name here* - Yall need to be nice. He is still a human and has feelings just like yall. I don't like him so don't get any ideas but he is still my friend.


* ok i am sorry but when you have to state "i dont like him" you probably do.*


Me - Omg *name* honestly take a chill pill. Seriously your ridiculous ...and not in a good way...


*insert name here*- and you honestly think i care what you say mark i think not.


Friend 1 - Now *name* ..... Andrew is a jerk this year


Me - *name* you are such a bitch! Really I was Just suggesting you not to take things so seriously and not to be such an effin buzzkill. But if you want to be a bitch to me then ill be one to you!


*Name* - two wrongs dont make a right! and mark i really dont care what you say about me. I guess i grew up and decided to be the bigger person. WWJD


Friend 3 - ohhhhhhhh snapadoodle doo!


Friend 1 - lol


*if she thought i was going to take this lying down, she was surely mistaken.*


Me - What would JESUS do? is that what you said to me? Please don't pull the religious thing on me! Here is what I do.....WWMD....WHAT WOULD MARK DO! You know what i would do? I would say yes you are the bigger person... literally.
Peaceout.


P.s. Get a breast reduction surgery. You look tittytarded.


Friend 1 - Omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahaaaa


Friend 3 - Hahahahahahahaahah omg omg omg


Friend 1 - IkIk,, im dying!!!!!!!!!! Tittytrtd haha!


* i just thought of a nickname*


Titty tard - I'm also skinnier then you fatty and your a fag for looking at them. Obviously you like it if your looking at them. ... just saying.


Friend 1 - You tell him.


Titty Tard - I will! Believe me.


Me - OMYLANTA! IM A FAG FOR LOOKING AT BOOBS. HMMMMM OK. o and yea it was mpossible to stop looking. Omg you were so tall and fat that when i sood at arms length toward you, they were hitting me in the eye!! One was always like giving me a black eye and the other was like over your shoulder! Do you know how tramatizing that is? by the way....eat a gd carrot you fat homophobe.

Titty Tard - You need to stop talking about yourself like that! it lowers youre self esteem.. oh wait i forgot you dont have one.. and honestly youre the one who could use a salad every once in a while. ill go ahead and call jeny kraig for you.

Me - ......Really..... My self esteem that is what you are going to attack? Owwwwww that really hurts. By the way im using a sarcastic tone,k. And how do I not have any self esteem? Huh?GIVE ME 2 good examples .And by the way those Jenny Craig comercials make the food look delicious so thank you for ordering the food for me.

Friend 1 - :€

Friend 3 - Wow nuggets

*Several. Hours. Later.*

Me - No repsonse? Hmmm I think I won this fight. TALK TO YOU LATA TITTYTARD

Titty Tard - Sorry. i actually have something to work for in my life so i actually care about school. and obviously you have no self esteem if youre just gonna attack me! and there you go again with my boobs... you must really like them...

*what the hell. She is crazy. Did i even say anything about school. She thinks she soooooo SMART! oooooooou she is so big and bad. Rediculous.*

Me - Actually I'm passing everything at school with flying colors. And I was trying to end this conversation because I want the last word you idiot And yes I did say something about yur boobs because they look ridiculous. By the way im more talented then you.

Friend 2 - Happy birthday *name*

.............PFFTTTTAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OMFG. That is priceless! It was her birthday. Omg this poor woman. hahah! Thats just horrible and funny all at the same time. Just thought this was perfect for FSC.



By the way sorry I haven't been updating latley. I think im gona start making posts on monday and friday and maybe on saturday or sunday! K see yall later!

food is my love

Lately I've had a love/hate/no carb left behind diet.

My friend at school was messing with google while we were in the computer lab. She accidently typed in 3. One of the search suggestions was "3 DAY DIET". Obviously her only choice was to click on it and she did. She decided to print it out and I said "Your stupid. Your going to give up the moment you see the word 'carrot', and even if you did finish, you won't lose any weight!"

Later at home, I walked in to the restroom to pee my urine out. I found myself playing drums....with my stomach. This has happened on several occasions, but I've ignored it. I realized today that I don't enjoy being a fat lard named Trey. (Tip of the hat Amanda Sheerer.)

To think anyone, let alone myself, could get to this point of 2 stomachs and a small ,yet there, set of manboobs, really disturbed me. What have I turned out to be. I don't want to be the fat kid that eats his feelings and gets bullied by the dude with a strong jaw, good hairline, and the abs of Jesus. I want to be the "Ashton Kutcher", if you will, of my school. So I went to the computer and Googled "3 day diet for a Fat-Ass".

The following is what I am eating for the next 3 days:

The 3 Day Diet meal plan:
Day 1
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1/2 grapefruit or juice
1 piece toast with 1 tablespoon peanut butter
Lunch
1/2 cup tuna
1 piece toast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
Dinner
3 ounces any lean meat or chicken
1 cup green beans
1 cup carrots
1 apple
1 cup regular vanilla ice cream
Day 2
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1 egg
1/2 banana
1 piece toast
Lunch
1 cup cottage cheese or tuna
8 regular saltine crackers
Dinner
2 beef franks
1 cup broccoli or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 banana
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream
Day 3
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
5 regular saltine crackers
1 ounce cheddar cheese
1 apple
Lunch
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1 boiled egg
1 piece toast
Dinner
1 cup tuna
1 cup carrots
1 cup cauliflower
1 cup melon
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream
In addition to its strict daily food prescription, dieters drink 4 cups of water or noncaloric drinks daily.

I don't have half of that stuff at home but, the website said I'd lose at most 10 pounds. So after school me and my mom are going to walmart. To be honest the moment I saw "carrot", and "cauliflower" I smurfed a brick. But I'm putting my foot down. I just will not allow myself to eat what I want. I know you think I'm making a big deal over 3 days, but to me "3 days of health food." sounds like "Not eating anything but 1 cup of water PER DAY, and whenever you feel like your about to faint, eat a deer dropping."

Movie Theater Fight Club

Holy Birth Canal you guys...I saw something friday that i hav been waiting to happen every time i go out in public. You guys people almost died. well not really but crap got intense. Me and my father went to see the 7th installment of Harry Potter.
One of the more intense scenes when Harry Potter was getting eaten by an anaconda the size of gods mansion, the snake popped towards the screen. At that moment the dude infront of the guy to my left, who apparently was taking a sip of his drink, freaked the freak out and threw his cup o' soda all over the dude next to me. The FULL cup of soda went only on him projectile style. I immeadiately started laughing harder then when i watch animal hoarders. The dude next to me (lets call him michael vick) face turned dark red. we will also call the thrower Clay Aiken. now i cant repeat the EXACT WORDS he said but you will get the idea.

Michael Vick - ARE YOU SHANKING KIDDING ME????

Clay Aiken - no...*tears fall*

Michael Vick - ARE YOU SHANKING SMURFING ME!!?!?!?!?!!!!?!?!?

Clay Aiken - dude it was an accident...shanking chill.

holy birthcanal. i live for this crap. this was amazing! i was begging god for this to get physical. i was singing in my mind "i wanna get physical PHYSICAL lemme hear ya body talk! BODY TALK!!" i already had to pee. this made a bead of pee come out of my bladder. it was hilarious and probably the best moment of my life.

50th blog post amazingness!

Well it's happened. With your help we have done it. 50 posts. I couldn't have done this without you. there is something i would like to say. THANKYOU.

ive realized ive lost touch with my roots. i mean my first blog posts were really good. lately ive hit rock bottom. have u counted all the F bombs? I am SO SORRY. I've realized a really GOOD F bomb comes when you hardly ever use it. when you use it ALL the time, it loses shock value and isnt as special. I recently went to rehab and im BACK. IM YOUNG, SINGLE, AND READY TO MINGLE! So for the next paragraph im going to go back and do the kind of humor I used to do. clean.

LUDACRIS

If you are a hard-core "mark-addict" then you know how much i dislike him. I recently realized he is in the song "yeah" by Usher. HOLY GOD. he has NO talent whatsoever. he sound like a constipated Gorilla. Behind Usher's smooth nice voice, you will hear "YEARHA YEARHA YEARHA! IM IN ANUSHA SONG BABY! BY THE WAY MY EX-GIRLFRIEND HATES STARBUCKS!" its funny how he tries so hard and fails epically.

I still can not get over how completely horrible he is in that Justin Bieber song "BABY!" Luckily J beebz, for what i know, has listened and stopped any and all contact with him. and look at what has happend. a VMA, he has a book out, and a movie coming out in febuary. I look foward to dropping a single with him and Ke$ha.

DRUNK TEACHERS

One of my teachers, we will call her "mel g", has gotten a little "drunk" lately (allegedly) and went on a rampage targeted towards me.

the reason i think she is a drunk, is i saw her at brookshires, with 2 bottles of wine. lives alone and is divorced, and has i can see crazy in her eye.....hmmmmmm

Mel g gave her class a paper that was called "RANDOM FACTS"(yeah she tries hard) One of the questions was like "hopes and dreams for this school". you were supposed to put five but i could only think of two. i put down Good grades and new friends. she didnt like this and was all up i n my face yelling "FINISH IT" I said I dont know what to put though" "QUIT WHINING BABY!"

whoa... did she just insult me? all of these things just popped in to my head. things like "yea OK boozer. you smell like mel gibson."

i jst said " but i need help." ( i played victim) "OK THENI GUESS YOULL SIGHN THE BOOK! (the book is a nazi way of torchering us that when we sighn it we can like be sent to hell for the day.) i said "no please i just need help!" "OK THEN D SLIP!" was she serious? "what?" "IF YOU HAVE NO HOPES AND DREAMS, THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE! TO THE OFFICE" who is she to do that! i had nothing to lose so i yelled "I DONT HAVE ANY HOPES AND DREAMS FOR THIS SCHOOL, BECAUSE WHEN YOU NEED HELP, YOU GET SENT TO THE OFFICE!!!!" then i walked to the office.

that was where i gave our little nugget principle, a oscar worthy cry, and he ended up being angry at mel g.

mark - 1
boozer- 0

Dear Trash Bags

Screw you, i totally hate you. Do you think your cute, when you trick me into thinking your tight on the trash bag carrier. Then just to fall into the carrier when I throw my trash in you. I know life can't be good for you. I know that you only live for about 8 hours and then you get eaten by a buried in the middle of no where, but you might as well do what your supposed too. It is NOT that hard to do your job. If you don't I am going to wipe my butt with your toothbrush and watchn you use it.



k thanks.
Love, Mark Goodnight

high expectations

I raised my expectations today.

Every now and then I get these crazy ideas that I am going to get friggin' ripped. Like jesus ripped. You see I have have rolls. No not Hawaiian sweet rolls. big fat gross nasty jellybelly rolls. I know what you are thinking. Gross. Me too. Im dry heaving.

I get ideas that I am going to healthy, eating red bull and nutri-grain bars for breakfast and running 10 miles at 4 in the morning. Week later, Still fat.

Today I ran untill I was about to have a stroke.

So here I am jogging tuned in to my own little world of Ke$ha lip syncing having the time of my life, when exaution hit me like a brick wall. so I went inside expecting everyone inside to see me sweating and my face burning red and say "you must've worked so hard!" NOPE.

I go to take a shower and I play with my hair for a minute thinking "HAHA i look like a boy KE$HA!" i take my shirt off, expecting JESUS ABS, annnnd BAM I have a beer gut and shadows under my nipples. F my life.

long story short, dont raise your expectations.

pappa papparazzi

yesturday in science i learned that honey was the only food that doesnt go bad is honey. then i said "what about twinkies" and everybody laughed.

i think its sad when papparazzi make up stories about people. if i was lindsey lohan, id kick the TMZ guy's butt. but seriously i think its sad when celebs get a rep because of a lie. im one to talk, but i dont talk crap. i speak my mind. i dont lie. i mean i have an audition for tv shows in orlando in december, and i could get famous like lindsey. one minute i could be happy go lucky teen and the next i could be in a club drinking and partying, with things coming out of different orphaces. its sad really. why do only bad stories go out into the tabloids? thats the problem today. no one likes to hear anything positive! its horrible. im jst really sad about it. i thought i should just comment on that.

i did alot today. i mopped. i vaccumed. i cleaned my room. i took out the trash. i cleaned the trashcan. i also put dwn carpet! i feel really occomplished. i feel good but im about to pass out.

ooooooooooooooooooooooh..... yep nowwww i get it

i just realized why everybody is all offenced bt that song "if you seek amy" by britney spears. say "ifuseekamy" really really fast....dont got it....AGAIN.....again....again......again......again.....get it? I KNOW RYATE! i just realized! the song goes "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY!" but it sounds like "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO F.U.C.K. ME!" HOLY GOD!!!!! just thought i should tellyall thats my new favorite song.

the adventures of writing

blogging is super hard and lame. i basically have to wait for something rediculous to happen at school or a celebrity i hate to do something retarded or my fav celebrity to do something amazing. and only now and then i get a post that is actually amazing. and that is hard considering i have daily outbursts of A.D.H.D. mixed in with a splash of O.C.D. its getting parettay bad. even as i.........oooo shiney metal..............anyway even as i write this i question whether or not this should actually posted.

ANYWAY this is what i go through as a blogger when blogging and...stuff.

1. hmm thats hilarious! im gonna blog about that!
2. OK! im home from school so now im gonna blog about it!
3. *as im writing* HAHA this is gonna be my best post ever!
4. ooooo a fly
5. i wanna watch youtube
6. ooooo chris crocker you are a card!
7. oops im supposed to be blogging!
8. ok im done now i will read for mistakes
9. hmmmm its not as funny as id hoped....ill just write you had to be there!
10. wait if you have to say you had to be there after a story, you failed epically!
11.TRASHHHHHHHHHHHH!
12. whatever ill just rip on bitchtits and her manboobs

SEE!

im still looking for donations to the applecross. only you can help me get my macbook pro! i can almost see it. ive been haveing dreams about it. its in my hands and when im about to open it....it fades into the darkness. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME!

I CANT JUST MAKE SHADOOBEE MAGICALLY APPEAR!

during 1st period art today, i had to take a giant, shadoobee. like a big one. like a "OMYGOD IM ABOUT TO SHIT MY PANTS IF I DPNT GET TO A TOILET NOW." well i said to the teacher," can i go to the restroom please?" well he was all like "NO" an i was like "dude its an emergency" "no!" he said. "PLEASE!" "NO" fuck it. here is what i wanted to say "fuck U! i have to take a shit!!! i walked out and took agiant dump in the toilet for 10 minits. i came back and he took me out into the hallway and he said "why did you not go before class?" "i didnt have to go. i cant magically make poop appear. im sorry" "GO TO THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "k? what do u want me to tell them?" "JUST GO" "ok"
i went and the VICE PRINCIBLE said i shouldnt have been sent down there but he still gave me lunch detention......................FML

Rihanna is a stupid face. the singer. yea i said it. she said on a radio show her music is more original then katy perry, KE$HA AND................................LADY GAGA. rihanna, YOU ARE A BITCH. your newest single sounds like a screaming bitchy 100 year old homophobic nun. so stupid. "IMA THA ONLA GRLA NA WARRRRRL." thats yur song? yur stupid SKEREWA YOUA! ok yea ik you couldve written california gurls, but you didn't. and i couldve written tick tock, and your love is my drug and take it off based on my own experiances, but i didnt. BUT LADY GAGA IS COMPLETELY OFF-FRIGGIN-LIMITS! lady gaga is THE most original artist in the world right now. i am in LOVE with her. katy perry's thing was forgivable. but this............i cant even look at you. if i ever see you talking bad about 3 of my favorite people again....i will buy you a kitty cat, let you begin to love it, then i will break into your house in the middle of the night when your sleeping, and punch you in the face.

the macbook pro

THE MACBOOK PRO *choir of angels singing in background" iwannat. its an apple laptop and i must have it. i have started saving the $1199 but i need help. that is why i am starting the "mac book pro for underprivlaged children named mark burrows goodnight" only YOU can help me get my dream laptop....it comes with free skpe and i chat..........iwannat

also it will help me draw cartoons,,funny ones! for the blog! DONATE NOW! :)

gonerrhea=FATTITS

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