food is my love

Lately I've had a love/hate/no carb left behind diet.

My friend at school was messing with google while we were in the computer lab. She accidently typed in 3. One of the search suggestions was "3 DAY DIET". Obviously her only choice was to click on it and she did. She decided to print it out and I said "Your stupid. Your going to give up the moment you see the word 'carrot', and even if you did finish, you won't lose any weight!"

Later at home, I walked in to the restroom to pee my urine out. I found myself playing drums....with my stomach. This has happened on several occasions, but I've ignored it. I realized today that I don't enjoy being a fat lard named Trey. (Tip of the hat Amanda Sheerer.)

To think anyone, let alone myself, could get to this point of 2 stomachs and a small ,yet there, set of manboobs, really disturbed me. What have I turned out to be. I don't want to be the fat kid that eats his feelings and gets bullied by the dude with a strong jaw, good hairline, and the abs of Jesus. I want to be the "Ashton Kutcher", if you will, of my school. So I went to the computer and Googled "3 day diet for a Fat-Ass".

The following is what I am eating for the next 3 days:

The 3 Day Diet meal plan:
Day 1
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1/2 grapefruit or juice
1 piece toast with 1 tablespoon peanut butter
Lunch
1/2 cup tuna
1 piece toast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
Dinner
3 ounces any lean meat or chicken
1 cup green beans
1 cup carrots
1 apple
1 cup regular vanilla ice cream
Day 2
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1 egg
1/2 banana
1 piece toast
Lunch
1 cup cottage cheese or tuna
8 regular saltine crackers
Dinner
2 beef franks
1 cup broccoli or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 banana
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream
Day 3
Breakfast
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
5 regular saltine crackers
1 ounce cheddar cheese
1 apple
Lunch
Black coffee or tea, with 1-2 packets Sweet & Low or Equal
1 boiled egg
1 piece toast
Dinner
1 cup tuna
1 cup carrots
1 cup cauliflower
1 cup melon
1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream
In addition to its strict daily food prescription, dieters drink 4 cups of water or noncaloric drinks daily.

I don't have half of that stuff at home but, the website said I'd lose at most 10 pounds. So after school me and my mom are going to walmart. To be honest the moment I saw "carrot", and "cauliflower" I smurfed a brick. But I'm putting my foot down. I just will not allow myself to eat what I want. I know you think I'm making a big deal over 3 days, but to me "3 days of health food." sounds like "Not eating anything but 1 cup of water PER DAY, and whenever you feel like your about to faint, eat a deer dropping."