high expectations

I raised my expectations today.

Every now and then I get these crazy ideas that I am going to get friggin' ripped. Like jesus ripped. You see I have have rolls. No not Hawaiian sweet rolls. big fat gross nasty jellybelly rolls. I know what you are thinking. Gross. Me too. Im dry heaving.

I get ideas that I am going to healthy, eating red bull and nutri-grain bars for breakfast and running 10 miles at 4 in the morning. Week later, Still fat.

Today I ran untill I was about to have a stroke.

So here I am jogging tuned in to my own little world of Ke$ha lip syncing having the time of my life, when exaution hit me like a brick wall. so I went inside expecting everyone inside to see me sweating and my face burning red and say "you must've worked so hard!" NOPE.

I go to take a shower and I play with my hair for a minute thinking "HAHA i look like a boy KE$HA!" i take my shirt off, expecting JESUS ABS, annnnd BAM I have a beer gut and shadows under my nipples. F my life.

long story short, dont raise your expectations.

pappa papparazzi

yesturday in science i learned that honey was the only food that doesnt go bad is honey. then i said "what about twinkies" and everybody laughed.

i think its sad when papparazzi make up stories about people. if i was lindsey lohan, id kick the TMZ guy's butt. but seriously i think its sad when celebs get a rep because of a lie. im one to talk, but i dont talk crap. i speak my mind. i dont lie. i mean i have an audition for tv shows in orlando in december, and i could get famous like lindsey. one minute i could be happy go lucky teen and the next i could be in a club drinking and partying, with things coming out of different orphaces. its sad really. why do only bad stories go out into the tabloids? thats the problem today. no one likes to hear anything positive! its horrible. im jst really sad about it. i thought i should just comment on that.

i did alot today. i mopped. i vaccumed. i cleaned my room. i took out the trash. i cleaned the trashcan. i also put dwn carpet! i feel really occomplished. i feel good but im about to pass out.

ooooooooooooooooooooooh..... yep nowwww i get it

i just realized why everybody is all offenced bt that song "if you seek amy" by britney spears. say "ifuseekamy" really really fast....dont got it....AGAIN.....again....again......again......again.....get it? I KNOW RYATE! i just realized! the song goes "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY!" but it sounds like "ALLA THE BOYYS AND ALLA THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO F.U.C.K. ME!" HOLY GOD!!!!! just thought i should tellyall thats my new favorite song.

the adventures of writing

blogging is super hard and lame. i basically have to wait for something rediculous to happen at school or a celebrity i hate to do something retarded or my fav celebrity to do something amazing. and only now and then i get a post that is actually amazing. and that is hard considering i have daily outbursts of A.D.H.D. mixed in with a splash of O.C.D. its getting parettay bad. even as i.........oooo shiney metal..............anyway even as i write this i question whether or not this should actually posted.

ANYWAY this is what i go through as a blogger when blogging and...stuff.

1. hmm thats hilarious! im gonna blog about that!
2. OK! im home from school so now im gonna blog about it!
3. *as im writing* HAHA this is gonna be my best post ever!
4. ooooo a fly
5. i wanna watch youtube
6. ooooo chris crocker you are a card!
7. oops im supposed to be blogging!
8. ok im done now i will read for mistakes
9. hmmmm its not as funny as id hoped....ill just write you had to be there!
10. wait if you have to say you had to be there after a story, you failed epically!
11.TRASHHHHHHHHHHHH!
12. whatever ill just rip on bitchtits and her manboobs

SEE!

im still looking for donations to the applecross. only you can help me get my macbook pro! i can almost see it. ive been haveing dreams about it. its in my hands and when im about to open it....it fades into the darkness. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME!

I CANT JUST MAKE SHADOOBEE MAGICALLY APPEAR!

during 1st period art today, i had to take a giant, shadoobee. like a big one. like a "OMYGOD IM ABOUT TO SHIT MY PANTS IF I DPNT GET TO A TOILET NOW." well i said to the teacher," can i go to the restroom please?" well he was all like "NO" an i was like "dude its an emergency" "no!" he said. "PLEASE!" "NO" fuck it. here is what i wanted to say "fuck U! i have to take a shit!!! i walked out and took agiant dump in the toilet for 10 minits. i came back and he took me out into the hallway and he said "why did you not go before class?" "i didnt have to go. i cant magically make poop appear. im sorry" "GO TO THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "k? what do u want me to tell them?" "JUST GO" "ok"
i went and the VICE PRINCIBLE said i shouldnt have been sent down there but he still gave me lunch detention......................FML

Rihanna is a stupid face. the singer. yea i said it. she said on a radio show her music is more original then katy perry, KE$HA AND................................LADY GAGA. rihanna, YOU ARE A BITCH. your newest single sounds like a screaming bitchy 100 year old homophobic nun. so stupid. "IMA THA ONLA GRLA NA WARRRRRL." thats yur song? yur stupid SKEREWA YOUA! ok yea ik you couldve written california gurls, but you didn't. and i couldve written tick tock, and your love is my drug and take it off based on my own experiances, but i didnt. BUT LADY GAGA IS COMPLETELY OFF-FRIGGIN-LIMITS! lady gaga is THE most original artist in the world right now. i am in LOVE with her. katy perry's thing was forgivable. but this............i cant even look at you. if i ever see you talking bad about 3 of my favorite people again....i will buy you a kitty cat, let you begin to love it, then i will break into your house in the middle of the night when your sleeping, and punch you in the face.

the macbook pro

THE MACBOOK PRO *choir of angels singing in background" iwannat. its an apple laptop and i must have it. i have started saving the $1199 but i need help. that is why i am starting the "mac book pro for underprivlaged children named mark burrows goodnight" only YOU can help me get my dream laptop....it comes with free skpe and i chat..........iwannat

also it will help me draw cartoons,,funny ones! for the blog! DONATE NOW! :)