Flip Flops VS. Nike

So in reading class, a bunch of the 7th graders have been coming and to do their work in our class.

I hate 7th graders. They think they are so much better than everyone else. Ugh, I hope I wasn't like that last year. If so, I apologize, world.
Well, there is this muscled guy who is all manly and is way past puberty.
He's pretty intimidating.
He insulted the worlds best creation: Flip-Flops.
I punched my friend, Ashleigh, because she asked me something dumb. Well, she went "OW! JERK!!" and i was all "Hahah wuss. Hahah Sorry."
That is when Mr. Roid Rage was all "This coming from a BOY wearing flip-flops."
Oh, HELL no!, I thought.

Me: "Flip-Flops, my friend, are fricken awesome."

Mr. Roid Rage: "Yeah *Laugh Laugh*, whatever."

Me: "RUDE. I wasn't talking to you! I will throw my flip flops at your FACE."

I was angry. You don't just hate flip flops.
Flip flops are to Nikes as Unicorns are to Sloths.


I like Unicorns.
Who wouldn't want a Unicorn?
Like what if some dude came up to you with a Unicorn, and was all "Want this Unicorn for free?"
Would you say "No."?
Of course you wouldn't say no!
You'd say "Ehff yah."