Battle For The Living Room.

*Originally written at 2.54 am*



Right now all I want to do is watch a few old Grey's Anatomy episodes.
Yet, I'm not.
"Why?" you ask?
It's because my father is in the living room on his laptop working, when he should be doing that in his office.

I LOVE old episodes of Grey's and I have ALL of season 5 in there.
It's calling, crying, and BEGGING me to watch it. I want to watch it, oh, so much.
It's my destiny.
Right now, my father is keeping me from fulfilling that destiny.

You might be asking yourself "Why don't you just go in there and watch the dang show? It's not that big of a deal."

Well, you're wrong.

He hates it when I stay up past 9:15. I practically went through Normandy to move my bedtime, (That title is so stupid.) to 10:30 pm.
It's not like I'm in the military, and have to get up at 4 in the morning to go kill sandmonkeys.
It's so ridiculous.

I'm listening closely by the door to make sure the coast is clear to go start Grey's Anatomy, so I'm writing this on the iNotes app on my iPhone. I'm gonna post this in the morning.
I feel like a soldier in the war, writing in his journal.


Wait...
My Dad turned the porch lights off.
I hear movement in the living room.

It's quiet now.

SCORE.



UPDATE: Shit. He's in there.

He's fucking sleeping on the couch in the dark like some sort of Pedo-Ninja waiting in the night for his next victim.

Look's like there's not gonna be any Grey's Anatomy for me tonight.

*Sigh*

Sickly

Yesturday I was sick and.......was forced....to stay home from school.

I don't exactly know what disease God struck me with, but I do know that it was awful, disgusting, deppressing, lame, and unnecessarily painful.
I don't even know how to describe it.



Oh, I know
It was like being in the mosh pit at a Lil' Wayne concert.
So Yeah, you know it was terrible.


My illness lasted for about a day and know I'm just exhausted.
This post was a lot better in my mind....


I just watched How Do You Know; it was funny.
I love Reese Witherspoon.

hmmmmmm.

I might have fixed my paragraph problem.

TEST. TEST.

UPDATE: YES!! Epic Win.

An ear molester and an actual rapist.

Okay, I have a few big issues with this so called singer/lover of Fridays.
Rebecca Black is the worst singer I've ever heard and I, along with the world's population, hate the song "Friday". Not only does Rebecca Black have the most Jewish voice that I've ever heard, but also she is a liar.
She claims she loves Fridays, but if she really did, she wouldn't have sang a song about it that sounds like the Devil's wedding song. I've heard her sing the National Anthem without all the auto-tune and junk, and she is actually pretty good. She would probably get to Hollywood Week on American Idol and not amount to anything else when it comes to singing.
She basically sucks at life.

Speaking of suck, I think Enrique Iglesias is a Rapist. Have you heard that song "Tonight I'm Lovin' You?"
IT'S F****ING CREEPY.
Seriously, somebody arrest this disgusting Cuban right now. What was he thinking? "Oh, I'll write a song about possibly raping some stripper, and to make it even more offensive, I'll add Ludacris into the mix. THAT will make it a sure-fire hit."
What has happened to music?



P.S. - I would only last 1 minute and 10 seconds if I were chained to a bunkbed with a Velociraptor, but, on a positive note, when it tore my arm off I beat him sincless with it.

Exercise? Maybe. Diet? Unfortunatley.

So Britney is starting to exercise and doesn't really even need to. My Mom is on a diet and excersising and losing weight FAST. My Dad is on a gleuten free diet. My sister is eye candy. A lot of the guys at school piss me off by being muscular.
I'm tired of being the fat ass. I can't even see my toes anymore without sucking in. I can't wear American Eagle clothes because I would look like a poser due to the midget that has attached itself to my torso.


Remember that 3 Day diet? I gained four pounds.

I actually was quite the runner for about a week. What a glorious week that was. My calves were made of steel. But then I got sick and got out of my cycle. Even if I had stuck to running I wouldn't have gotten skinny. I can't believe I'm having weight problems at 13. I refuse to let my mother weigh less than me. I shall start a diet on Saturday, but tomorrow I'm gonna go out with a BANG. Bring in the Jalepeno Poppers.

Tomorrow is gonna be HELL though. I'm gonna need to pig out based on the fact that it's April Fool's Day tomorrow. Aside from Valentine's Day, it's the worst holiday known to man. I'm going to be bombarded with cruel pranks. Who knows. It could be an egg attack or I might be slushied "Glee" style. Wish me luck. I'll tell ya ALLLLLL about it tomorrow. But it won't be live because Blogger.com hates me.

Guiltfest 2011

I don't ever do this, but I have to apoligize to somebody.
She has forgiven me on several occasions in the past few hours, but I feel like this will make it official......I feel like Bill Clinton.
I'd like to formally apoligize to Britney Raye Hamlin for forgetting to get her purse and her binder after the bell rang in History class when she left to go do something. It was because of my retarded/A.D.H.D. mind that it got locked in the class when the teacher left for the day, because we are the last class that our History teacher has.
It was my fault that she had to go to the princible to ask to get in to the classroom she left it in.
It was my fault that she was late to her next class.
*Sighs* I'm so sorry, Britney. I feel incredibly guilty. You looked extremeley pissed, and I felt AWFUL. I'm so sorry. Now that that is off of my chest I feel much better.

I have this problem where I always feel guilty for things even when the person has said they've forgiven me. Azle has done one Hell of a job with my self esteem.

EXAMPLE: A.S.P.C.A. commercials. I feel guilty for being so greedy that I can't even spare $5 per month to save those sad little three-legged, one-eyed, earless puppies. I almost broke both of my hands trying to find the remote to change the channel when that commercial came on. It's that damn song they play. "In the arms of the Angel. Fly away from here, toniiiiight." I cry every time I see that.

OOOH I almost forgot! This guy Dylan at school used to be the meanest person on earth, and all of a sudden we're all buddy buddy best freinds. Well, not best freinds, but he's been strangly nice to me for the past two days. Him and this other guy Johnny are being really nice!! I'm just like what in the world!? Like they laugh at ALL of my jokes and are sincere about it. They sit by me in Science now. They are being like super duper kind. Am I gonna have to put out a couple of freind requests on Facebook? Maybe they had a change of heart, or it's a mischievous plan to gain my trust and then suddenly use that trust to destroy me.

Oh lord.

Now I feel guilty for doubting them. I changed my background in an effort to get out of my fourth season lull.
I hope y'all like it.

DON'T FORGET my live post on Friday. I'm not exactly sure on how it's gonna work yet but we can figure it out. ONE MORE THING THEN I'LL LEAVE Y'ALL ALONE. Sorry that all of my posts lately have been one big paragraph. Stupid blogger.com won't let me make new paragraphs. I hope they fix it. It's friggin' annoying.

4th Season

I just posted something but this is important. I'm in a lull. The blog is starting to go into what I call it's 4th season. It's like when a show is really good show is amazing in the first 3 seasons, and then it starts to lose it's quality in the fourth season. What I'm hoping what's gonna happen, is that I'm gonna lower everybody's expectations, so when I eventually come up with something good everybody will think it's the most amazing thing ever. I miss being in my 2nd season. Because I feel bored with this blog I have a BIG announcment. On Friday, April 1st, 2011.....I'm doing a LIVE post. So come to my blog at around 8ish on Friday! It should be epic.

Hello, I'm embarrassed. What's your name?

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In Advisory, (Advisory's our schools ridiculous way of saying "Homeroom") we were listening to the announcments and about to watch "Indiana Jones; The Raiders of the Lost Ark".
There was a long pause on the loud speaker. That was when my body decided that I've been being a bitch lately, and made me sneeze the biggest sneeze I've ever sneezed.
It wasn't a normal sneeze either. It was a nasty, slobbery, snotty, phlemy, disgusting one. It was like debris flying out of my nose and mouth, and on to my face. My whole face. I was stuck in my seat.
Let me ellaborate on that.
Our Advisory class's desks are arranged and an extremely retarded way. Our teacher tried to set the desks up like an arena, so we we're all facing the front. The desks get moved around a lot throughout the class and today I got sealed in on my left and my right.
SO when I sneezed that awful sneeze I couldn't go anywhere. It was on my hands and face and I was embarassed.
This one kid, Paco, got up, got tissues, and shoved them in my face. I was slowly sliding deeper and deeper in my chair until I was on the ground with tears in my eyes. I was about to cry but I swollowed the tears went to the trash can with my head held high....all while the announcments were going on.

My freinds gave me a peptalk...after they said "That was embarassing to watch." That was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
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Ahhhhh! Roofies!!

A couple of weeks ago my school had a dance. It was unsuprisingly ghetto.

It was pretty awful. The music was like excessivly and freakishly loud.
I had to yell the same sentance 10 times each to get my point across. The 2 highlights were
1.) My bestfriend Britney was there.
2.) I danced like a fool with one of my friends Morgan.

Luckily Al Pachino wasn't there. He was "studying" for UIL, (UIL is this big academic competition that I went to and won 5th place in. HOLLA.) but I'm sure that he was actually out trying to drink people's blood. Have I mentioned he thinks he's a Vampire? Because...he thinks he's a Vampire.

The dance was very stereotypical. There were even a couple of dance offs. What is this? West Side Story meets the Ghetto? It was like a bad ghetto remake of "Bring It On". I can't say the word "GHETTO" enough.

There was this one weird Indian/Mexican kid who kept BLATENTLY hitting on Britney. It got to the point where she almost screamed "My body, MY CHOICE." in his face. He like even did the stupid yawn/stretch over the shoulder move on her. She kept looking at me and we both exchanged a glance that ment..."Omfg. Somebody arrest him right NOW." He gave his jacket to her and she was all "Umm NO." and he was all "FML. Please. I love you. I only want to be with you. You and ONLY you." and she was still all "EFF no." and I was all "ACCESS DENIED.". That was basically what happened but nobody said anything. Everytime he made a move on her I texted Britney "Awkward turtle." She had a hard time keeping a straight face.
We ended up running away from him like The Devil was chasing us. But he kept finding us. At one point during the night he offered her a drink. It was an OPENED Diet Coke. "Ummm. Surrrre. -__-" She walked away and she threw in trash. "I'm glad you did that. I'm pretty sure he was trying to rape you." I said. She replied "Yeah, me too. Ever since I saw 'The Hangover' everytime I get offered an open drink I feel like yelling 'AHHHH!! Roofies!!!!'" Then we laughed out loud for about 10 minutes.

Do we have a future Mexican/Indian date raper on our hands? I think yes.

Stinky Sturkey

Sorry about all the "That's So Raven" refrences. I've been watching it a lot lately.

O.k. you know how some people have an oder. Well, up until I started going to Azle JH, I thought there were only 3 categorys of oder; Lovely, Normal, and Stanky. I was Wrong. There's one more.

It's name is Kealon

It's called Kealon because that is the name of the person who inspired this new category. He is the ONLY person, in the U.S. at least, who smells like this. He is literally the worst smelling, person, object, animal, I've ever met. He is the real life, Ben Sturkey.

THE SMELL -

It's hellish. I don't think he has showered in, I'm not exaggerating, at least a year. When he walks past me it's like "The Situation" is raping my left nostril, and Flava Flav is raping my right nostril. That is the only thing I can compare it to. It's rediculous that he can't even go jump in a lake for 5 seconds. That would help! I can't believe nobody's ever confronted him. You know, I'm worried about his home life. What kind of parents would let it go on like this. Willie Nelson would be like "Dude, you need to take it down a notch." Kealon needs to jump in a pool that is 4% lye, 50% Shampoo, 1% water, 10% Pro Active, and 35% Ralph Lauren Calogne.

THE APPEARANCE -

It's hellish. His hair.....excuse me while I dry heave........It's like he soaked it in mud and bacon grease. It's long, messy, and as nasty as HAYELL. He is the definition of "TOW UP." His acne, is like a Pro Active infomercial. It's like a huge red tumer. I have pimples, and acne and stuff, but this is excessive. I'm gonna give him a Pro Active gift basket or something. It's just plain GROSS! His clothing is dirty just from touching him. Seriously, his clothing gets brown stains on it and crap. What's worse is that only Britney, Justice, and I are the only ones bothered buy him. What the HELL!? We have to stage an intervention. He can't be healthy. HE CAN'T. We really HAVE to do an intervention, be his shoulder to cry on, if only to keep him from being a date raper later in life.

I'm NOT So Raven.

The whole O.J. thing got irritating and boring so I'm done with that. On to bigger and better things.



The Oscars were pretty good, but I was wrong about everything. See below.



Category:                         My Picks:                                     Winners:
Best Actress                     Annette Bening                     Natalie Portman
Best Actor                        Jesse Eisenberg                            Colin Firth
Best Supporting Actress   Hailee Steinfeld                             Melissa Leo
Best Supporting Actor      Geoffrey Rush                              Christian Bale
Best Picture                      Black Swan, or Social Network   The Kings Speech



So clearly I'm not psychic. I got a few right. Though they were ones everyone knew were gonna win, like EVERYONE knew Toy Story 3 was gonna get best animation. That's implied.


The hosts were funny. Anne Hathaway was fricken hilarious, GAW-GES and sweet. James Franco, on the other hand, looked like he and Charlie Sheen had finished off a brick of cocaine just before the show started. Everybody is hating on my girl Anne, and it's annoying. You try hosting the biggest event on t.v., since the beginning of cussing time, in front of God and the whole world.

I hate that The King's Speech won best picture. The winner is always a stupid dumb movie that only old people care about. I wish Social Network or Toy Story 3 would have won! That would have been amazing if Toy Story 3 had won!! To be honest, I seriously thought that when they opened up the card that they were gonna say "....and the best picture is.....AVATAR!!!!!!"

Quick One.

O.k. I'm posting this from computer class. I know you want to hear about O.J. and I will have that post on friday, but there is somebody in my class, who just ate paper......and is making noises like a billygoat.

I hate to be the one to make fun of the wierd kid who most likely, is autistic, but he just ate paper. He sits next to me and he gets "frustraited"........for generally everything. He goes berserkbananas when he...."get's frustraited". I try to be nice because then when he snaps and shoots up the school, he will remember how nice I was, and spare my life. He seriously scares me. Clearly he needs to be under pshyciatric supervision. I'm thinking about having a sit down with him and giving it to him straight. "Listen Forrest," I would say "I get your angry but you just threw a computer across the room and ate a sheet of paper. I asked Dr. Phil and he said you need Xanax.....and Valium......and Vicodine. He's super smart which scares me even more. He could be orchastrating a bomb attack that will take place at the school, for all I know. Help me.

Part 2

The next day I demanded that Ms.Cole punish punish her and the same kind of argument ensued. On my way home I thought the whole thing was over. Then I got the call.

My phone rings and it’s Carolin. She lied. Lied lied lied lied lied lied lied lied lied lied lied lied.
Carolin – “Hahahah it’s Carolin! I got your number. I’m gonna prank call you every night for the rest of your life! Bwahahahahahah! Rawr.”

I didn’t hear the “click” of the phone hanging up so I said.

“Listen up assface, I will call the police on your ass, you crazy psycho freak lunatic bitch! What is your problem?”

I came to school today excited to get her in so much trouble it would make her head spin. She was a no show. I tell teacher what happened she was no help. We got into another argument. It led to where she yelled

“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO THE WHOLE WORLD!”

I was through. She was messing with the wrong person. I was screaming at her face “LISTEN UP BUDDY I EXPECT THE CLASSROOM TO HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPECT MY PRIVACY. AND BY THE WAY QUIT BLAMING ME! ITS GETTING REALLY OLD. YOU HEARD HER SAY THAT WORD TO ME AND YOUR PLAYING DUMB! SO. DON’T. EVEN. ACT. LIKE. THAT.”

Then I was sent to s.a.c. to live out my punishment there. I had to copy down the cheesy thing I've ever laid my eyes on. It was about students who disrespected thier teachers! Full of CHEESE. Then the VP talks to me and I tell him the story and he tells me to come in early tomorrow.

Looks like this is a saga.

Rigged.

This is an emergency blog. Sit down. Seriously your gonna die. SIT DOWN.

Lady GaGa....didn't win album of the year. I'M GOING TO CUT SOMEBODY. I'm soooooooo pissed. She wasn't even beat by an actual band! Guess who won. Arcade Fire. ARE YOU SHANKING KIDDING ME? Arcade Fire! O.K. if Eminem or Justin Bieber, or even friggin Katy Perry had won, I would be o.k. BUT ARCADE FIRE?????I feel like punching someone in the ear. What the Hell? Where is Kanye West when you need him?!

I'm seriously about to cry. Lady GaGa is perfection. Arcade Fire is a trashy garage band. Like who actually listens to A.F.? I Know....Emo people while they write poems about Native American oppression.

We have to do something. Lady Gaga is probably crying to herself in the Staples Center's restroom and thinking "What did I do wrong!?" We need to write Hate Mail to the acadamy or something. We need to help Mother Monster.

I'm not a Hater. This is JUST WRONG. Like who actually thinks Arcade Fire is better then LADY GAGA? Nobody. Whoever it was who made this decision for arcade fire to win was insane and needs to be labotamized..............Shutter Island style.

I'm grieving for the rest of the week.




Lady GaGa... If your reading this....we'll gettem next year.

O.J. and Her Golf Gloves.

Today, I was walking outside and about to go inside. A mean girl who is in one of my classes, was behind me. When we got to the door, I was being nice and held the door open for her. She gave me a dirty luck and rushed in front of me and slowed down. Okay, this annoying enough when it happens on the road when your driving and even MORE annoying when your walking. I was pissed but not enough to vocalize my frustration. When we were walking she stopped. Stopped. Just stopped in the middle of the staircase. I waited 5 seconds, then I walked around her. Then while I was hurrying up the staircase she screamed "JACKASS!" What the hell was this girls problem? She was the one being a dumb walker. Walking in the hallways during passing period is like driving during rush hour. If she were she were a car she would have been in the middle lane of the highway blocking everybody from getting to work. I stared at here pimply face and said "Really? I'm a Jackass? O.k. whatever you are not even worth it." I went on with my day until 8th period. This is the class that I have with her.

I go in and later in the class, I am telling a friend my phone number. The girl who called me a jackass, was being a stalker, and wrote down my number. We will call her "O.J. Simpson".

O.J. Simpson called my name and yelled "HAHAH I have your number now! Heheheheh."

I looked at the numbers she had written down. It was the correct number. I looked at her in horror. It's go time. The following conversation ensued.

Me - "Throw that away. Burn it. Rip it up. Get rid of it. Right now."

O.J. Simpson - "No. I am KEEPING IT. MWAHAHAHAHAH!"

Me - "No you won't. I have a right to not give you my number."

O.J. - "Too bad."

I was standing up now.

Me - "Give it back or I will take it back."

O.J. - *shakes head*

I got up and walked over to her desk. I try to grab the paper. She slaps my hand and screams "NO. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I smiled. She sits next to the teacher.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say 'F off '?" I asked the chunky latina looking girl who had yelled it.

"Yes. You deserve it." What? I couldn't believe it. How could she say that to ME, let alone in front of a teacher? I looked at our teacher and she was still doing her work. She was pretending to not have noticed, even though she was smiling. "Uhhh excuse me? Teacher? Are you going to do something?" "Do what?" She said keeping in laughter. This was to much. She was neglecting her bullying me. The teacher (Let's call her Johnny Cochran. He was O.J.'s Lawyer in the murder trial.) then tried to blame me. "Why are you out of your seat? You are breaking the rules!"

Me - "I'm braking the rules? Really? She just said 'Fk off' to me! I was getting back m y ohone number she had stolen. I don't want her to stalk my life. I have rights."

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear that."

Me - "SHE IS 4 INCHES AWAY FROM YOU!!! She stole my number and I got up t take it away. Then she said F off! See!?"

I pointed down to the journal and she had scratched out my number, to where it looked like she just drew a black square. It's like im the detective and when I look down to my walky talkyto call it in, and then she throws the dead body she killed, into a woodchipper.

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear her and there is no number. Your lying. Now sit down or you will have lunch detention."

Me - "O.k. I have been threatened AFTER SCHOOL DETENTION for whispering. I sit in the back. She sits straight in front of you. YOU HEARD HER."

Ms. Cochran - "I didn't hear her. Now sit down."

Me - *Turns around to the class* "O.K. if you heard her say 'F Off!' to me, raise your hand.

Class - *Everybody raises hands.*

Ms. Cochran - "SIT DOWN NOW."

I sat down but I didn't stop arguing until the bell rang for us to go home. Then I talked to Johnny Cochran outside. "Don't lie. You heard her say that. If I said that I would be in the office in a New York Minute." I said. "I don't have to send people to the office if I don't want to." She said.

I'm telling the principle tomorrow. Part 2 tomorrow.